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The [Tuesday] Papers

"He hurt the public - by him taking money from the paper, that gives them less resources to bring us the news," a Chicago law clerk is quoted saying about former media mogul Conrad Black, who was sentenced to six-and-a-half years in prison on Monday, in a Sun-Times editorial this morning.

"I'm sure he didn't reinvest money to make the paper better," a consultant said.

If only we could imprison all news executives who commit that crime.


Black's real problem was stealing money from the company through devious accounting instead of devious marketing. If only he had explained that the Sun-Times could better serve readers with fewer reporters - you know, like the Tribune and Reader - he'd be a free and even more prosperous man today. Instead he tried to hide it.

Tortured Mayor
"Daley, who was Cook County state's attorney at the time of the alleged torture, had little to say when asked about the settlements following a news conference to honor public school teachers," the Tribune reports.

"The cases were 'very, very complicated,'Daley said."

Yes. There were so many methods of torture used on so many suspects over so many years it was hard to sort out.

"When a lawsuit is filed, 'you settle it,' Daley said."

Even if you have to spend more than $7 million fighting it first.

"He added that he hopes it's 'an end to that type of error we had.'"

That type of error?

That deserves only one response: Fuck you, Richard M. Daley.

Drop a Dime
"Recently I read a rather scathing attack on my father and me, written by - of all people - Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr.," Todd Stroger writes to the Tribune this morning. "If the congressman would just call, I would tell him that his claims about patronage and waste are a farce."

Make that call!

Presidential Quality
Barack Obama was too busy raising money for Joe Lieberman to comment on the torture settlement in Chicago approved by the mayor he endorsed, nor the Cook County spat involving the board president he endorsed, nor the role of his political mentor Emil Jones in the state budget stalemate. Besides, after appearing with Oprah he had to prepare for the upcoming Tony Rezko trial.

Now, what was that about judgement again?

"In a deceptively agreeable column published in The Oregonian on Oct. 29, the television critic Peter Ames Carlin interjected two revolutionary sentences - 13 seditious words that might cause polite readers to question his judgment, if not his sanity," a New York Times critic wrote on Sunday.

"'ABC's sitcom Cavemen is actually really funny,' he wrote. 'You should give it a chance.'"


* "Don't you think the Geico cavemen could be the basis for a sitcom?"
- Me, Beachwood Reporter, February 14, 2007

* "I rarely watch network TV; I'm a cable-boy. But Cavemen and Carpoolers - new on ABC this season - are both really good shows."
- Me, Beachwood Reporter, October 25, 2007

Bear Branding
The Chicago Bears were the fourth most frequent brand to be placed on network television shows in the first half of 2007, according to Nielsen Media Research (via the New York Times).

Rich Dessert
"The Republicans Find Their Obama."
- Frank Rich, New York Times, December 9, 2007.


* "On the Republican side, my early money is on former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee."
- Me, Beachwood Reporter, January 18, 2007, also noting around that time that Huckabee would be the GOP version of Obama in terms of being a uniter whose appeal could transcend party.

A Bronx Tale
"The Bronx of the 1970s and '80s, setting of a best-selling novel by Tom Wolfe, has been transformed, as has the city around it," the New York Times says. "Crime is down, and race relations have generally improved."

Gee, I didn't know Richard M. Daley was the mayor of New York too.

The Great One
Wayne Gretzky was always my favorite.

"Although he has a vast array of investments and business interests, Gretzky prefers the hockey life to a life of leisure," the New York Times writes. "He will arrive at the rink hours early for game-day practices, and he still holds to a ritual of an afternoon nap and pregame meal."

Broken Compass
"Does Golden Compass Point To Anti-Christianity?"

And what if it did? Is that not allowed?

Brodsky's Beat
"There has to be a voice out there saying, 'Whoa. Wait a second. Let's look at the facts,'" Drew Peterson's lawyer, Joel Brodsky, tells the Sun-Times.

Especially when the media isn't that voice.

Papal Plea
"Pope Benedict XVI said Saturday boys and girls at younger ages are in danger of being deceived by adults hawking false models of happiness and leading them down 'the dead-end streets of consumerism.'"

I always thought it was interesting that declarations from the Pope are often front-page news except when it's anti-war and anti-capitalist.

Quarantine Clincher
"Huckabee Wanted To Quarantine AIDS Patients."

Looks like he just locked up the Christian conservative vote!

Barack Obama says he wouldn't quarantine AIDS patients but, based on his religious beliefs, he wouldn't allow them to marry, either.

The Coincidental Mayor
"In typical City Hall fashion, news of the big payout came late Friday afternoon, while Mayor Richard Daley was out of town and unavailable for comment," the Tribune reported on Saturday. "The mayor's in Italy, but the Daley administration insisted the timing was coincidental."

Even though, as I understand it, it was City Hall that leaked the news, which wasn't supposed to be announced until Monday.

In which case newspapers should print the same story over and over on the front page until the mayor becomes available.

American Indian
The best piece of writing a saw last week was Reader rock critic Miles Raymer describing the live shows of metal band Indian as "a five-alarm hellstorm of doom."

Indian played the Hideout on Saturday night, and unfortunately I missed the show. Here's what else Raymer had to say:

"And their new second album - the vinyl-only Slights and Abuse, on the local metal label Seventh Rule - is so deeply, irresistibly evil that it's made me a slave to its incomprehensible wickedness."

A band after my own heart.

The Beachwood Tip Line: Be naughty.


Posted on December 11, 2007

MUSIC - Lyric Opera Strike An Old Story.
POLITICS - USA Today's Op-Ed Disaster.
SPORTS - Beachwood Sports Radio: Kanye, Chili, Jimmy, Tarik.

BOOKS - Conway Barbour & The Black Middle Class.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Recall! Malone's Pork Head Cheese.

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