The [Tuesday] Papers

According to the Sun-Times today, Chicago is "putting its best fist forward" and taking "another swing" at proving it can host a big event in its staging of the World Boxing Championships.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

It's so amazing how newspaper people can come up with such clever puns. They're smarter than fifth-graders!

Our Town
The Sun-Times continues its prized brand of media flackery so praised by the local Olympic chieftain Pat Ryan by using its whole front page on the boxing tournament - which is surely of interest to a relatively small portion of Chicago - and then using a headline on the story inside the paper that say "Our Best Shot."

Our?

I didn't realize the Sun-Times was actually on the Chicago 2016 Committee. I thought they were just kissing its butt.

Sun-Times "reporter" Andrew Herrmann also declares at the top of his story that "the mess of the [Chicago] marathon" is "behind" the city. Really? Is that your own scientific conclusion, Andy?

While I don't believe the marathon mess will have anything to do with whether Chicago gets the Olympics - at least it shouldn't - it certainly isn't "behind" us. It's very much alive as a stain on the marathon organizers, whose response remains inadequate. You can bet that the marathon mess will be very much alive when next year's race rolls around.

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"I thought coming to a big city like Chicago, you'd be stuck up," Aruba boxing coach Jeffrey Nedd told the Sun-Times.

Nope. We're just small-town folk.

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And the whole front page? It's not like California is burning and Turkey may invade Iraq. We have boxers here!

Body Count
Herrmann states in his story that "thousands" lined State Street for the procession of athletes that opened the boxing tournament.

The Tribune's Azam Ahmed put the crowd at "at least 1,000."

Ahmed acknowledged that some of those may have "happened to be caught up in the crowd."

I'll say. Wouldn't a thousand people be walking State Street from Monroe to Lake in the ordinary course of business anyway?

I'd also like to know how many people Chicago officials brought in to ensure an audience for a parade of unknown athletes in a sport of highly diminished public interest. I'm betting as many as they could - and that's still not a lot.

Bee Sting
Mayor Daley called Muhammad Ali yesterday "a great Chicagoan and a great human being."

I like Ali's politics too, but since when has Richard M. Daley been onboard?

Hoof and Mouth
"A Sneed spotter claims Mayor Daley and his favorite sidekick, press secretary Jackie Heard, got stuck in traffic and opted to exit their vehicle and flatfoot it from Wacker and La Salle to the Chicago Theatre on State Street Monday in order to kick off World Boxing Championship ceremonies, where the legendary Muhammad Ali was a surprise guest," Sneed writes this morning.

She left out that the traffic jam was caused by closing off State Street and all the cross-streets at State for that stupid boxing parade, which Daley obviously didn't go to, just the ceremony so he could meet and bribe the IOC people there.

- Garry Jaffe

Yuppies Like Us
The Tribune editorial page staff states today that they were born to run, baby.

I suggest they run right to Bruce Springsteen's lyric sheets and think about what he's been saying all these years. Then get back to us.

Rise and Fall
"[T]here's likely a new generation of Springsteen fans who view 'The Rising' as their watershed moment, just as I did with Bob Dylan's 'The Times They Are a Changin','" Dave Hoekstra writes this morning.

I give even the newest generation of Springsteen fans far more credit than that piece of lunacy.

Police Targets
"Releasing the names of Chicago Police officers most often accused of excessive force would endanger officers and their families, make them potential targets for 'baseless lawsuits' and unfairly taint those falsely accused, interim Police Supt. Dana Starks said Monday," the Sun-Times reports.

A) Starks would prefer to endanger us citizens instead.
B) Baseless lawsuits like the million-dollar judgments routinely won against the department.
C) And unfairly tainting the falsely accused is something the police department is now against?

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"These police officers have the potential of becoming targets," Starks said.

Has that ever happened? Can't such a list include the outcome of complaints so we can all see for ourselves which are frivolous and which are substantive?

"You're going to be able to find out personal information about the officers - their phone numbers and addresses," Mark Donahue, Fraternal Order of Police president, said on Friday.

Um, can't that stuff be blacked out?

"Donahue said many of the complaints are 'just allegations.' If the names are released, the public will assume the worst, he said."

I've got news for you, Mark: The public already assumes the worst. The Chicago Police Department has lost the benefit of the doubt and has to earn back the public's trust. It's your own fault. This is the price you pay. Give up the names. We can handle the truth.

Takes One to Know One
"The carpetbagger [Rev. Al Sharpton] comes to Chicago, and thinks he can resolve our issues!" Maryalice Murphy - of Schaumburg - writes to the Sun-Times today (second item).

Hunter's Stew
Jennifer Hunter is taking the day off.

Apparently that Iowa knitters club hasn't met recently and there were no campaign press releases to write up.

That's Todd!
"Cook County Board President Todd Stroger lived up to a promise Monday, introducing a bill that would offer taxpayers a rebate if he winds up taxing them too much," the Sun-Times reports.

"But Stroger didn't show up at a special meeting he convened for the bill, and his representatives couldn't adequately answer questions about it, as frustrated county commissioners grumbled and deferred any action."

Maybe he was spending the day with Jennifer Hunter.

Rim Shot
"They had short-term goals for a long-term business."

That's not just a problem for the publisher of Penthouse - it's also a problem for the readers of Penthouse.

Hi-yo!

- So-Called Austin Mayor

Quality Inn
We do it for you.

* Oh my god oh my god oh my god. Radiohead's Rainbows.
* Increasingly, the answer is Indiana. Redefining Chicagoland.
* Fun. That seemed like an odd way to describe defending a cop killer. Defending the Damned.
* Did you really think you wouldn't be able to use that black knit cap and those black gloves to go as O.J. again? Another Beachwood Halloween.
* The problem with the Lottery is that it doesn't have any restaurants. Open Letter to Illinois Legislators Considering a Chicago Casino.

The Beachwood Tip Line: Rope a dope.

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