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The [Tuesday] Papers

"The race to become Chicago's next mayor is on its way to becoming one of the most crowded in the city's history, as 21 candidates filed nominating petitions by Monday's deadline to appear on the Feb. 26 ballot," the Tribune reports.

And yet, when one surveys the field, one thinks we could surely do better. But no, this is the best Chicago can do. This is who we are.


"The last time Chicago had an open race for mayor was 2011, when Mayor Daley announced he'd retire after holding the job for 22 years.

"That year, 20 candidates filed, but only six ended up on the ballot: Emanuel, Chico, then-City Clerk Miguel del Valle, former U.S. Sen. Carol Moseley Braun, now-state Sen. Patricia Van Pelt Watkins and perennial candidate William 'Dock' Walls. Emanuel ended up winning that race outright in February with 55 percent of the vote."

Del Valle was the best of that bunch, and Chico next, with Van Pelt Watkins flashing some talent, but the Obama halo Rahm wore blinded liberals, progressives, techsters, hipsters and African Americans to join hands with the corporate suites while the media bit on David Axelrod's makeover of his image.


"In 2015, just five candidates appeared on the ballot - Emanuel, Cook County Commissioner Jesus 'Chuy' Garcia, Wilson, Fioretti and Walls. Emanuel got 45 percent of the vote in February and was forced into an April runoff with Garcia, where Emanuel ultimately prevailed with 56 percent of the vote."

Chuy ran a terrible campaign but got as far as he did because even then Rahm was unpopular. He was there for the taking, but Toni Preckwinkle either didn't have the stomach for the run or so believed in the Party that she didn't think it would have been appropriate to challenge the incumbent. She didn't even back her Chuy - who was her floor leader at the county at the time.

Chuy, of course, is a U.S. congressman(-elect) now, thanks to Luis Gutierrez bequeathing his seat to him in a typical Machine maneuver. Gutierrez, like Fioretti, was once a vicious Rahm critic; then he co-chaired his 2015 campaign, as did current state Comptroller and mayoral candidate Susana Mendoza, who at the time was serving as Rahm's stalwart and loyal (no matter what she tells you now) City Clerk. Her predecessor? Miguel del Valle, who was handed the job by putative political enemy Richard M. Daley.


Wilson won a not-insignificant 10 percent of the vote in 2015. Then he ran for president in 2016 as a Democrat, even though he later voted for Trump (and supported Republican Gov. Bruce Rauner).

Fioretti, well . . .



"All told, 211 candidates filed to run for alderman in the city's 50 wards, according to the election board. Downtown Ald. Brendan Reilly, 42nd, Near North Side Ald. Brian Hopkins, 2nd, Near Northwest Side Ald. Scott Waguespack, 32nd, and Northwest Side Ald. Gilbert Villegas, 36th, are unopposed. The 20th Ward, where current Ald. Willie Cochran is not running again after a federal bribery indictment, had the most candidates file with 15."


"Drawing particular note is a challenge to council dealmaker Ed Burke, 14th, chairman of the powerful Finance Committee, who's being opposed by Jaime Guzman, a former aide to U.S. Rep.-elect Jesus 'Chuy' Garcia."

Chuy's 2015 run raised his profile and strengthened his organization; he is now at the heights of his power locally, though he's not considered to be a major factor in Congress at his day job. He knocked Burke's brother Dan out of the General Assembly and now is going after the Big Kahuna.

Ed Burke is sufficiently concerned; he his now posting to Facebook, and in Spanish.


Here are the number of signatures each candidate is claiming to have filed with the elections board. It takes 12,500 to make the ballot; rule of thumb is that it takes three times that to survive challenges to the validity of the signatures, which must come from voters registered in Chicago, as well as a host of other often-absurd technicalities. Voters also aren't supposed to sign more than one candidate's petition; if they do, only the first one they signed counts. How that is determined is still beyond me.

Toni Preckwinkle: 60,000

Good showing, flexing her muscles, not dead yet.

Susana Mendoza: 30,000

Short window; she just won re-election to her current job comptrolling the state. Still fewer than expected, though; we'll see once we get through the challenges how it rates. Remember, though, that signatures are not the same as votes; instead, they are a largely forgettable but short-term sign of an organization's strength.

Bill Daley: 45,000

And they're all from corporate offices! No, but it's hard to see even 45,000 people wanting Bill Daley to be mayor.

Lori Lightfoot: 32,000

Disappointing, given that she's been in it from the start, not just post-Rahm.

Gery Chico: 32,000

He put it together pretty quickly.

Paul Vallas: 50,000

I wasn't sure he'd even make 12,500, to be honest.

Garry McCarthy: 55,000

See Paul Vallas.

Amara Enyia: 62,000

How did she get so many considering she had $60 in her campaign account before Chance The Rapper showed up? Well, Chance The Rapper showed up. Plus, she said they got "creative." They used Chance's e-mail list? Assignment Desk, activate!

Dorothy Brown: 25,000

As the Beachwood Bookmaking Bureau notes, her constituency is shrinking. Also, this:

Willie Wilson: 60,000

Pattern of deception? (Rahm dropped the challenge to avoid alienating black voters, so we never found out . . .

LaShawn Ford: 40,000

These can't be real.

Bob Fioretti: 40,000

See LaShawn Ford.

Jerry Joyce: 30,000

Really? That's a lot of Southwest Siders!

Neal Sales-Griffin: 18,000

Surprised he even got that many. He will not make the ballot unless he goes unchallenged, which would be the bigger insult.

Ja'Mal Green: Refused to say

So, not enough.

John Kozlar: Refused to say

See Ja'Mal Green.


If I did my math right, that equals 579,000 signatures - about a third of Chicago's registered voters.


How do those numbers compare with 2015?

Chuy: 63,000
Fioretti: 55,000
Wilson: 47,500
Rahm: 43,000

In 2011, Rahm filed 90,905 signatures.

Richard M. Daley used to file 100,000 signatures just to fuck with everybody.


Also in 2011:

Brown: 91,000
Chico: 50,000
Del Valle: 40,000


New on the Beachwood today . . .

The Political Odds
Updated to reflect recent developments.


Lady Blue Was A Bonkers Cop Show Set In Chicago
Known for its violence, so bad it's phenomenal. Co-starring Danny Aiello; Johnny Depp once guest-starred.


Exclusive! The Real Reasons Why Lovie Smith Was Extended Instead Of Fired
Another Beachwood Special Report.



Can I go up all the sears/Willis tower stairs on my own? Do I need permission from someone? from r/chicago



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Is that a giant #troll I see blending in with the #trees of the @mortonarb or did I consume a bit too much wine over the holiday? A troll indeed! Meet Furry Ema....& beware his trap...a grand creation by artist @thomasdambo. (Scroll left for detail views.) Made with #recycledwood, there are 6 or so of these #whimsical creatures that can be discovered on the #trollhunttma. On this beautiful snowy & peaceful day, it was an absolute joy to experience. Stay tuned for introductions to a few more trolls in future posts. #mortonarboretum #trollhunters #trollhunt #thomasdambo #sculpture #madefromwood #recycledmaterials #publicart #arboretum #amongstthetrees #walkinthewoods #chicagoart #chicagosights #chicagodaytrip #snowyday #wintersday #camoflauge #trolltrap #imaginarycreatures #fairytale #stuffoffairytales #artinstallation #youngatheart #trolling #whatbigearsyouhave

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Fruit Jar Guzzlers, Chicago, March 1928.


A sampling.

Jared Kushner Pushed To Inflate Saudi Arms Deal.


Poultry Workers Fear Bathroom Breaks.


A sampling.






The Beachwood McRibTipLine: Matchy matchy.


Posted on November 27, 2018

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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