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The [Tuesday] Papers

"George Lucas' decision to take his memorabilia collection elsewhere leaves us with a question: What will become of the lakefront site where the billionaire Star Wars creator planned to build his Museum of Narrative Art?" Crain's columnist Joe Cahill wonders.

"Mayor Rahm Emanuel offered his truculent answer the other day, telling reporters, 'We're left with a parking lot in the middle of the museum campus. If you look into the future, that's gonna be a parking lot.'"

Why? Did I miss the part where the court ordered that spot to remain a parking lot for time immemoriam? Does the city have to abide by a Lakefront Parking Lot Ordinance? Did Daniel Burnham decree that great men make no parking lot plans?

"When I asked [Emanuel's] office about possible alternative uses for the site, I got this e-mail from a spokeswoman: 'There are no proposals to build on the site and we've moved on to other matters.'"

Geez, who is (Best) Friend of the Parking Lot now?


"Friends of the Parks officials didn't respond to my questions about their vision for the site, but they've applauded a proposal to include it in a nature sanctuary."

Or maybe a Chicago Museum of Unanswered Questions, though the lot probably isn't big enough for that.


Given the site's proximity to Soldier Field, why not make it an athletic area for kids? I'm not suggesting the NFL Experience exactly, but a kids area would also be useful after a long day museuming, no?


From the Beachwood Sports desk . . .

The Contemptibulls
Every minute Rajan Rondo plays in a Bulls jersey will be embarrassing.

Schrodinger's Baseball Team
The White Sox are both dead and alive.

Weekend At Mr. Met's
You did things you aren't proud of.


Bozo's 4th Of July Spectacular
Baton-twirling Americana circa 1978.

Cook County Bird Of The Month: The Osprey!
Plunging talons, sharp feet.

The Weekend In Chicago Rock
Featuring: Milky Chance, Brand New, Modest Mouse, Talib Kweli, Animal Collective, Tycho, Dark Triology, Marina City, Rubix Wheel, Tesla, REO Speedwagon, Def Leppard, Steve Miller Band, Chris Cornell, Federico Aubele, Jon Dee Graham & the Fighting Cocks, The Kevin Gordon Band, Robbie Fulks, Recondite, The Black Madonna, Guns 'N' Roses, Alice In Chains, and Michael Franti.



In Search Of Abortion, Women Are Flocking To Illinois.


The Mysterious Disappearance Of Sports by Brooks.


The Tories are coming.


Read The Bizarre Olympic Committee Demands That Led Oslo To Pull Out Of The Race To Host The 2020 Games.


You Still Can't Trust Walmart's 'Made In The USA' Claims.


Mondelez Bids For Hershey's Chocolate Monetization Machine.


More Fappening Happenings.


Peter Francis Geraci Rides Infotapes To The Top.


A sampling.

So, involuntary emailslaughter.



The Beachwood Tronc Line: For cocoa puffs.


Posted on July 5, 2016

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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