The [Tuesday] Papers

"Facing a day of multiple deadlines, Illinois lawmakers return to the Capitol on Tuesday little closer to coming up with a new state budget or helping Chicago Public Schools deal with a deadline for a massive pension payment," the Tribune reports.

"Tuesday is the final day of the state's current budget year, and top officials turned to planning for a Wednesday in which Illinois government has limited authority to spend money. It's also the day a cash-strapped CPS is due to make a $634 million pension payment."

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"Gov. Bruce Rauner met privately with the four top legislative leaders Monday afternoon. But little progress was made toward ending a monthlong impasse between the Republican governor and the Democrats who control the legislature, which also has ensnarled the city's public schools.

"We are no closer today than we were a month ago," said House Republican leader Jim Durkin.

So "little" progress is not even accurate. Zero progress.

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"As of late Monday, Emanuel's office did not expect lawmakers to approve any sort of relief for the pension payment Tuesday, said a top administration official who was not authorized to speak publicly.

"A team of City Hall aides had started turning its attention toward what to do about the pension payment if no remedy is passed in Springfield. The Emanuel administration source said the mayor had directed his team to develop scenarios ranging from making the full pension payment, to not making any payment at all, to developing a payment plan."

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"Rauner last week vetoed the majority of a Democrat-passed state spending plan, the exception being a portion that funnels money to elementary and high schools."

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"But Rauner directed all state workers to continue reporting to work on their normal schedules and said the administration was working to make sure that employees continue being paid and receive their paychecks on time.

"Soon after the governor's memo, however, Attorney General Lisa Madigan issued her own missive saying there was no provision for state employees to be paid without the appropriation authority from a new budget."

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Non-musical bonus tweet:

Crain's Discovers Mayor It Endorsed For Fiscal Adeptness Is Actually Really Bad At Money Management: http://t.co/sCjhfzKacd

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 30, 2015

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Hint: Cubs
Gee, what's missing from this press release about the Phillies hiring one-time Cubs executive Andy MacPhail?

"Andy brings an uncommon blend of old school experience and new age thinking . . . In 1986, Andy was the youngest GM in the history of Major League Baseball when he served in that role for the Twins. The following year, he became the youngest GM to win a World Series title. When the Orioles hired him eight years ago, Andy became the first president of baseball operations in Major League Baseball. During his tenure in Baltimore, he greatly expanded the use of statistical analysis in player evaluations. That's the new age thinking."

Something happened between the Twins and Orioles, I just can't remember what . . .

Kraft Work
"The top leadership of the consolidated Kraft Heinz Co. will be ruled by former executives of H. J. Heinz Co, after it completes the merger with Kraft Foods Group Inc., indicating that they will be largely in control of the billion dollar food titan," BidnessETC notes.

"The food companies have announced that eight of the ten executives who have been tapped for the senior leadership team to head the merged entity are from Heinz."

Why does it matter?

"The companies' announcement yesterday has now raised questions about claims that the merged entity will work together at a co-headquarters in the Chicago."

Duh. This is a Heinz acquisition, not a Heinz-Kraft merger. Which means more bad news on the horizon for the locals.

"If I was a Kraft employee, I would be pretty nervous," said an equity analyst at Edward Jones, Brian Yarbrough. "This is just another play out of their playbook," he added. "It's not for sure, but with their track record of cost-cutting, I would be surprised if the company that is merging you still had two headquarters in a couple years."

Textbook. Every time.

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The non-denial:

"Michael Mullen, a spokesperson for Heinz, who was recently named senior vice president of corporate and government affairs at the merged Kraft Heinz Co., declined to respond to how the leadership appointments will pan out for operations of Kraft.

"The immediate focus for the company's senior leadership team will be to integrate the two businesses, establish the company's new organizational structure and deliver business objectives for 2015," Mr. Mullen said. "As the organizational structure is determined, more details will be shared about where key leaders will be located."

They ain't leaving Pittsburgh, folks.

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Of course, it's not the Kraft executives I'm worried about. To wit:

"Kraft Foods Group CEO John Cahill stands to take home millions once the company's sale to H.J. Heinz closes, documents filed Wednesday show," the Tribune reports.

"Other executives will also receive special payments tied to their work on the deal, and Kraft will cover an expected $16.2 million in costs for the excise taxes associated with those payments, the company said in a filing with U.S. regulators."

But what about Kraft employees?

"In a few days, thousands of employees of Kraft Foods Group will be working for a new boss whose first job includes determining how many of them he will fire," Crain's reports.

"While no one at the Northfield-based company will say how many of Kraft's 22,000 employees are likely to be out of a job after it merges with H.J. Heinz as soon as July 2, judging by what the new owners did when they took the ketchup-maker private, the layoffs will be swift, proceed in waves and cut deeply."

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Hey, here's an idea: Maybe Illinois should merge with Indiana and then fire Indiana. Wouldn't that be running the state like a business?

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American Torture Story
Chicago chapter.

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BeachBook
* Farm Waste And Animal Fats Will Help Power A United Jet.

* Illinois Drone Task Force Is Made Up Mostly Of Cops.

* Mark Kirk Makes Federal Issue Out Of Chicago's Food Truck Restrictions.

* Lady Gaga Confused A Mariachi Festival With Chicago Pride.

* Porn And Chicken Blackhawks Banger!

* Special 'Pray Chicago' TV Show.

After state leaders finally agree to a budget, they should point to the heavens and say God wanted it to go down like this.

* Willis Tower People Want To Merge With Towers Watson People; Still Sears Tower To Us.

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TweetWood
A sampling.

In tribute to last week's Supreme Court ruling, #Apple has placed a spinning rainbow on my laptop.

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 30, 2015

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Crain's Discovers Mayor It Endorsed For Fiscal Adeptness Is Actually Really Bad At Money Management: http://t.co/sCjhfzKacd

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 30, 2015

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That disturbance in the Force you feel is Lady Gaga and Donald Trump in #Chicago at the same time.

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 29, 2015

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Prepare now for a long, strange trip of Grateful Dead puns descending on #Chicago media.

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 29, 2015

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Don't let Trump meet with Rahm before he leaves #Chicago, or his name will end up on the Wrigley building too. #inrahmpetence

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 30, 2015

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The Beachwood Tip Line: Trumped up.

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