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The [Tuesday] Papers

This might be my favorite tidbit of the night:

The crew bringing the Stanley Cup to the United Center on Monday night amid road closures and flooding was given a police escort for a trip that, according to a source, reached speeds of 100 mph.

That's hockey, baby!

"The vaunted trophy arrived fashionably late, delayed by the untimely detours that were a result of severe weather before the game," ESPN reports.

"The source with knowledge of the situation said the crew escorting the Cup to the facility left its hotel in the outskirts of Chicago at puck drop, but the commute was less than ideal."

I heard a radio report that the Cup was being held at a hotel in Elmhurst, which seems odd; perhaps other reports have cleared this up. Anyway . . .

Even though the crew eventually got the police escort, it still did not arrive to the rink on time.

"Mother Nature was not a hockey fan tonight," the head keeper of the Cup, Phil Pritchard, told while the Blackhawks were celebrating on the ice.

You know what? Fuck Mother Nature. You're not the boss of us.

Party Cup
According to the Best Hashtag Ever, the Cup partied at the Mid last night. So fuck you, Wrigleyville!

Parade Route
"Following heavy rains Monday night, parts of Grant Park are flooded, so it's unclear whether a rally can be held there this week," the Tribune reports.

Our very own Natasha Julius: "Might I suggest . . . Humboldt Park?"

Me: "Gentrifier!"

Natasha: "FINE! Douglas Park, then."

Blackhawks Supercede Bears
"This team now stands alone both at the pinnacle of hockey and right near the top in the annals of Chicago sports," our very own Jim "Coach" Coffman writes.

"And so the third championship in six years was won. And so the Hawks passed the mid-80s Bears in the annals of Chicago sports. The Hawks had won two championships already, of course, but even two wasn't enough to pull ahead of the glory that was the '85-'86 Super Bowl champions.

"But three in six years, well, that constitutes some sort of a dynasty and it moves the Toews/Kane/Keith Blackhawks into second all-time in Chicago behind Michael Jordan's Bulls."

Hmmm. Does this sound right?

1. Jordan's Bulls.
2. Bowman's Blackhawks.
3. '85 Bears.
4. '05 White Sox?
5. '08 Cubs?

Now Let's Go Live . . .
. . . To Drunk Blackhawks Fans.

Dino! Dino! Dino!
North Stars weigh in.
















The Beachwood Tip Line: By Stan Cup.


Posted on June 16, 2015

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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