The [Tuesday] Papers

"Mayor Rahm Emanuel and challenger Jesus 'Chuy' Garcia will meet Tuesday for their final scheduled one-on-one debate before the runoff election, following previous events that have grown contentious as the candidates try to land blows and build momentum before April 7," the Tribune reports.

"The 7 p.m. debate on WTTW-Ch. 11's Chicago Tonight program will mark the third time Emanuel and Garcia have debated head-to-head since nobody was able to get a majority of the votes in the first-round mayoral election in February, forcing the two into a runoff."

If even a single question asked tonight is a question that's already been asked, I'll consider the charade a failure. I don't have much hope.

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It's almost as if there is a list of pre-approved questions that must not be deviated from. If we can predict with a 90% success rate what will be asked tonight, don't you think the campaigns can too?

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If I ran the show, I'd make sure that Rahm Emanuel knew he'd be cut off every time he mentioned full-day kindergarten and a longer school day when it's not relevant. And every question he reframes to his own liking will be asked again until he answers it - even if it's the only question that gets asked all night.

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Please, please, please no lightning round asking these guys their favorite kind of pie. Please. People's lives depend on it.

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I'll be live-tweeting the affair, as always.

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The Beachwood Radio Hour #50: The Fioretti Fiasco, Entitled America & How Road House Explains Chicago
Most humiliating, phony, cynical endorsement ever. Plus: The Mayor 1% Song; Rahm's Debate Spin; Chicago Is Jasper; Lydia Loveless vs. Taylor Swift; and CPS's Flamin' Hot Cheetos are on fire. (With Show Notes!)

Louder Than A Burge
Plus: First Lady of the Black Press & Improbable Libraries. In Local Book Notes.

Chicagoetry: What Christina Hendricks Said
Beneath the United Center.

The Weekend In Chicago Rock
Featuring: Diarrhea Planet, Miles Nielsen, Roger Clyne, Alejandro Escovedo & Susan Voelz, Earl Sweatshirt, Dana T. Leong, Lil Herb, Galveston, Bayside, Benjamin Booker, Circa Survive, Halsey, Melodime, and Nicholas Tremulis.

Editor's Note: Don't let the name put you off; Diarrhea Planet might be the best rock and roll outfit on the planet right now.

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BeachBook
* Access Denied: Federal Officials, Data Increasingly Off Limits To Reporters.

Thanks, Obama!

(P.S. to reporters: He's also a war criminal.)

* Andrew Sullivan: Blogging Nearly Killed Me.

Call the wahmbulance, you got rich and nobody forced you to do it.

* AP Investigation: Are Slaves Catching The Fish You Buy?

Spoiler alert: Yes!

I mean, you never ask a question like that in a headline when the answer to be found in the article is No.

Also, I read the article.

But what's really important here is how global trade agreements need global labor standards or else we're all just like the slave-holding South; we've just pushed the worst labor practices to Third World countries where they're out of sight, out of mind - to us. Those are human beings nonetheless; now we're all Confederates.

To wit:

Hi. I'm Tim Cook. I use slave labor to make overpriced gizmos intentionally designed to fail after modest use. Boycott Indiana!

— Jacob PaperBacharach (@jakebackpack) March 30, 2015

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TweetWood
A sampling.

New Tribune Poll Shows Rahm's False Ads Funded By Millions Of Dollars From Hedge Funders Finally Working. #ChicagoElection2015

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) March 31, 2015

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There's a spell for making people believe anything, but to work it must be performed on TV continuously. #Rahm is nailing it. #runoff

— VoldemortForMayor (@Voldemort4Mayor) March 31, 2015

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And Truman! RT @MaryAnnAhernNBC: Chuy Garica Team points out: Previous Trib Polls wrong on Jane Byrne, Harold Washington and Pat Quinn

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) March 31, 2015

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The Beachwood Tip Line: Chuy defeats Truman.

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