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The [Tuesday] Papers

More embarrassing: Squeezy the Pension Python or that Bears performance last night?


"Public relations strategist Thom Serafin says the governor appears to have achieved his end game of getting people to talk about pension reform," CBS2 Chicago reports.

Wrong. The exceedingly small number of people involved in the pension reform debate are talking about Squeezy and our lame governor and more than 99.9 percent of the general population has no idea that Squeezy even exists, much less is that he (or she) is the key to our children's future. Pat Quinn just made a massive joke of himself and likely won't be invited back to the governor's office in 2014.


By the way, comments on Quinn's video are disabled. (Way to build grassroots support!) But if you're really itching, there's a back door, so to speak.


As QT would say, add "grassroots" to the list of things that aren't what they used to be, right next to "hipster," "progressive" and "transparency."


As for the Bears, well, it may have been a near-death experience but that means they're still very much alive, writes our very own Jim "Coach" Coffman.


Coffman will talk Bears today with Rick Kogan on WBEZ's The Afternoon Shift. Show starts at 2 p.m. and Coffman probably goes on about 2:30 or so.

Harry Potter And The Prisoners Of Alvarez
The trial for three of the so-called NATO 5 has been pushed back to September 2013. Apparently in Cook County that means the constitutional definition of speedy.

Meanwhile, earlier this month, one of the other defendants, Sebastian "Sabi" Senakiewicz, pled guilty to drunken rants about a non-existent bomb in a non-existent Harry Potter book and was sentenced to four years in prison, though he'll likely be released after a few months in a boot camp.

As Senakiewicz's compatriots have argued, would Cook County State's Attorney Anita Alvarez really have agreed to this deal if the man was really a terrorist threat?

"Sabi pled guilty to a felony state terrorism charge and got 120 days in boot camp," one of his lawyers, Jeff Frank, said in a statement. "Honestly, how serious was this case? Does this rise to the level of what this statute was designed for? No. Sabi is guilty of imprudent language. That's hardly grounds to extract a guilty plea for a serious felony, but that's how Ms. Alvarez has chosen to spend the taxpayers' resources."


The fifth member of the NATO 5 is Jeremy Hammond, who is finally getting a bond hearing after eight months in jail.

The Anti-Energy Alderman
Ald. George Cardenas (12th), who most likely didn't even pretend to page through the budget he just voted in favor of, wants to ban energy drinks for those under 21.

This is such a pressing issue to Cardenas that he wants to hold hearings. Can he not think of anything else to do with his time as alderman?

Of course, while he's not attending to his job as alderman he's not attending to his job as alderman:

"Cardenas owns Cardenas and Associates, a business consulting firm, where he has worked for many fortune 500 companies including Centel Corporation, McDonalds Corporation, Andersen Worldwide, Tenneco Corporation, Ameritech/SBC Corporation. Cardenas is [also] President of QuickDinero, Inc., a retail wire transfer service.[5]"

Too bad he doesn't consult for an energy drink company.

Memory Bank I: Ald. George Cardenas Rents Ward Office From Family.

Memory Bank II: Cardenas Has Father On Payroll.

Bang Bang
Chief Keef Loves Soda, Ain't White.

Team Colby
Fenwick History Teacher In Jeopardy! Finals.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Pensiony.


Posted on November 20, 2012

MUSIC - The Week In Chicago Rock.
TV - Coming Soon: Bad Yung Club Chicago.
POLITICS - Chicago's Election Day Blues.
SPORTS - Kool-Aid Report: To The Bearmobile!

BOOKS - American Colonial Hangover, Grandma Gatewood & Chris Chelios.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Exclusive Severe Weather Tips!

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