The [Tuesday] Papers

1. Oprah Mulling Broadway Roles.

"I have a stack of plays in my bag right now that I am reading," she said.

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Such as The King and I, in which she would play both roles; and Rent, in which she would play the landlord.

2. Emanuel Releases Transition Team Report.

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A) Concludes that he is both a resident and the mayor-elect.

B) Concludes transition of raw power to make everyone miserable nearly complete

C) Concludes no-snitch code regarding the hiring of Angelo Torres has not been compromised

3. Passengers Say Man Yelled 'God Is Great' On Flight To Chicago As He Rushed Cockpit Door.

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How come no one ever yells "God Sucks!" in these situations?

4. 2 Accused Of Running Real Estate Ponzi Scheme.

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Huh. Greenspan and Geithner not named.

5. Chicago Home Sales, Prices Tumble.

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Huh. The phrase "Ponzi scheme" not used.

6. NU Inks Fitzgerald.

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Choice questionable, however.

7. Groupon Wants To File For IPO Soon.

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Before deal expires.

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This is all the time I have for the column today . . . I know, I feel like I barely started myself. Sorry, folks.

But please check out these worthy new offerings from elsewhere on the site, and I'll be back with a full column tomorrow.

In Action: Neil Young at the Chicago Theatre
Helpless.

See The Cubs Suck From Multiple Camera Angles
AT&T is evil, but this is pretty cool.

The Political Odds Have Changed
But we're still doomed.

Outside Sox Park
Dmitry Samarov draws Gavin Floyd; placates girlfriend.

Chicago's Cool New Library
Preserving, digitizing, mesmerizing.

How Money Laundering Works
Al Capone led the way.

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