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The [Tuesday] Papers

"A few momentary blasts, flashes of orange light, and the Mississippi River began pouring through a wide hole in a Missouri levee, intentionally blown open by the Army Corps of Engineers in the hope of saving a small Illinois town," AP reports.

"The Army Corps exploded the Birds Point levee after nightfall Monday, sacrificing 130,000 acres of rich farmland and about 100 homes in Missouri to spare the Illinois town of 2,800 residents that is at the confluence of the Ohio and Mississippi rivers."


"Missouri officials opposed the . . . breach, saying it could inundate 130,000 acres of farmland and crush the region's economy and environment by possibly covering the land under feet of sand and silt and rendering it useless," the Kansas City Star reports. "But their efforts to block a blast failed to sway a federal judge, an appeals court and U.S. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, who without elaborating Sunday rejected the state's latest and . . . final bid to stop the Corps from sacrificing the levee.

"The ruling by Alito, who handles emergency requests from Missouri and various other Midwest states, came the same day all but 20 to 30 families in 2,800-resident Cairo were ordered out of the city."


"By Monday evening, the National Weather Service in Paducah, Ky., reported the Ohio River at Cairo crested at 61.44 feet, almost 2-feet higher than the record 1937 flood," Illinois Statehouse News reports. "Flood stage is 40 feet."

Rich Miller, who has been the go-to aggregation source for southern Illinois flooding woes, has more.


The Tribune has a photo gallery of deserted Cairo.


"I think with God's help we will get through this crisis," said Gov. Pat Quinn.

Well, He got us into it, didn't He?


God could not be reached for comment.

Osama's Virgins
Heaven or Hell?


Navy Seal Team Six.


Stella Foster, National Treasure:

OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD screamed the headlines. I screamed: "Well, it is about good and damn time." I got so frustrated trying to understand why it has taken 10 years to find this cat. Also, he had more videos out than Mary J. Blige . . . yet the U.S. couldn't find him. Finally, finally, finally . . . the guy who always said he did it and was not living in a cave all these years but in a mansion . . . has been done in and now the more than 3,000 victims of 9/ll can truly rest in peace. And he is resting with SpongeBob SquarePants at the bottom of the sea.

Court Snort
"[Blago defense lawyer Aaron] Goldstein said many of those expected to testify against the former governor stepped forward to complain about Blagojevich only after prosecutors pressed them, sometimes granting immunity and sometimes agreeing to plea deals," the Tribune reports.

"'These stories don't get concocted 'til the government comes a-knockin',' Goldstein alleged."


I knew Johnnie Cochran. Well, I interviewed him once. And you, Mr. Goldstein, are no Johnnie Cochran.


Here's one: If the fucking golden thing fits, you must convict.

Alternate Rahm
We Are Not Going To Charter School Our Way Out Of This.

DIY Punk & Open Access Scholarship
The Fireside Bowl Journal.

Sox Store
"The Chicago White Sox have tapped Delaware North Cos. Sportservice to develop and construct a two-level, 13,000-square-foot flagship team store in U.S. Cellular Field," Business First reports.

"The store is believed to be the largest of its kind among sports arenas and will sell not only White Sox merchandise but items from other Chicago area professional and collegiate teams."


Perhaps the new Sox store will sell the wonderful portraits our very own Dmitry Samarov is producing for his Outside Sox Park column. Today: Wide-eyed, jug-eared Brent Lillibridge.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Juggy.


Posted on May 3, 2011

MUSIC - Who's Next In Chicago Rap.
TV - Tribune-Nexstar Deal Is Bad News.
POLITICS - Charter Schools Should Talk More About Racism.
SPORTS - The Ex-Cub Factor.

BOOKS - Wright Brothers, Wrong Story!

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Hologram Arcade Machines.

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