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The [Tuesday] Papers

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari may have just gotten engaged, and the whole world of total dipshits may be obsessing about the Royal Wedding, but we had something occur last night at the Beachwood Inn that easily tops both.

After a couple Schlitzes for him and a couple of glasses of red wine for her, a gentleman patron we had never met announced to the bar that he had something he wanted to say. He then got down off his bar stool and onto one knee and proposed to his sweetie. She accepted and Beachwood history was made. The text messages flew as various family members were informed; meanwhile I dug into our champagne supply and poured it gratis for the house so we could properly toast the happy couple.

Given bartender-client privilege, I will say no more except that the couple met playing dodgeball. Take that, Kristin and Kate.

Royal Wedding
In which Rahm marries himself.


See also: Emanuel's 'Day of Service' Ignores Most of South Side.


Most fitting:

"Asked to explain how the Emanuel team picked the locations and whether they attempted to include all corners of the city, a spokesperson said the projects were identified with help from organizations including the Friends of the Chicago River and One Good Deed Chicago. In a statement, she said they're also encouraging people 'to create their own service projects.'"


The elite turn to their support networks while telling the poor to do it for themselves.

Next: More charter schools!


I realize the entire South Side isn't poor. But you get the point.

Glass Half Full
Illinois Ranks Dead Last In Funding Worker Pensions.


Says Matt Farmer on Facebook: "Such a negative headline. How about: 'Illinois finishes first in refusing to meet its pension obligations.'"

Harmonic Convergence
"At least in BC, it appears even the harmonized sales tax takes a back seat to play-off hockey," Energetic City reports.

"The provincial government had scheduled it's first telephone townhall meeting tonight in Surrey, but it will now be held tomorrow night.

"That's being done so it won't clash with the deciding game of the Vancouver Canucks' Stanley Cup series with the Chicago Black Hawks."


Harmonized sales tax? Geez, even Canada's taxes sound nicer than ours. That one probably pays for everyone's health care. Or harmony.

Here Come The Hawks!
A theme song compendium.

"In this distant Chicago suburb, a builder has finally found a way to persuade people to buy a new house: he throws in a car," the New York Times reports.

Maybe he should throw in a job.

And We Don't Even Get A Car
"Almost one in three renters in the Chicago area, and one in four renters nationally, spend more than half their income on rent and utilities, a cost burden that has increased dramatically in the past decade, a study found," the Tribune reports.

Comment Crew
"The newspaper of record for the Chicago suburbs has been subpoenaed with a request to disclose the identities of many of its online commenters," the Huffington Post notes.

Wouldn't it be funny if they all turned out to be the same person?

Flavor Flav's Fried Chicken Flameout
Clock strikes midnight in Iowa.

International Pop Overthrown
It happened at a venue near you.

Garbage In, Garbage Out
"Cleanup crews began removing bags of garbage and piles of yard waste from two vacant lots in the Englewood neighborhood on Monday," Dane Placko reports for Fox Chicago News. "But neighbors said that - ironically - the cleanup crews are the same people who dumped the garbage in the first place."

Maybe Englewood could use one of Rahm's service projects.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Fried and tied.


Posted on April 26, 2011

MUSIC - Madonna vs. Moderna.
TV - Sundays With The Military-Industrial Complex.
POLITICS - Private Equity In The ER.
SPORTS - Suspicious Betting Trends In Soccer.

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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