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The [Tuesday] Papers

Today's column will appear whenever the hell I get to it. I'm tired, people!

The [Monday] Papers
"In my 53 years on earth, I have never witnessed a more tasteless, vulgar and morally repulsive example of exploitative marketing than this Groupon ad that ran on the Super Bowl," Paul Gillin writes at B2C Marketing Insider. "Can you imagine using the suffering of a repressed and brutalized nation to market online coupons?"

Well, we just had a state visit by a dictator who does exactly that sort of thing and, come to think of it, we're about to elect as mayor one of the celebrated political operatives of a trade bill unconcerned with labor standards, and one of our longstanding allies in the Middle East is about to fall due to brutal repression we propped up, so in a sense Groupon is an All-American company. They even took $3.5 million they didn't need in taxpayer subsidies (even as social services will now be cut beyond bone) just months before raising $950 million in venture capital.

If Groupon's Super Bowl commercials were meant to be social critique as parody, they would have worked marvelously. Same result if the commercials were produced by Saturday Night Live as a statement about the heroism assigned Groupon for its proficiency at, um, coupon deals.

Alas, this is straightforward botchery, even if Groupon is groping to explain what America's nimrods were too dense to get.

Sorry, Groupon. We don't all live in a closed universe inside Andrew Mason's head. You blew it, big time.

Or do I need to sign a non-compete to write that?


See also:
* The Super Bowl's Halftime Malfunction, Possibly Sponsored By Groupon

What Packers' Super Bowl Victory Means For The Bears
Think pass rush.


See also:
* Eat Your Hearts Out, Bears Fans

Trick Question
How many lame ducks does it take to plow an alley?

Stepped Over His First Homeless Man There
"Reagan had fond memories of Chicago apartment."

Army & Lou's: An Appreciation
Not just soul food, but soul.

That Toddlin' Town
The Chicago Code debuts tonight amidst parochial handwringing.

The Weekend in Chicago Rock
They played at a venue near you.

"Harry Caray's Statue Defaced With Incoherent Message."

Not Dead Yet
"Mastodon will release a live CD and DVD on March 14," NME reports.

"The album, Live At The Aragon, was recorded during the band's show on October 17, 2009 at Chicago's Aragon Ballroom."

How 'Bout
"As the world's No.1 daily deals website, which Google once tried to acquire for $6 billion, prepares for the launch of its China portal, it has apparently run into trouble finding the right URL to bring its service to the hundreds of millions of potential Chinese online consumers," Reuters reports.


Plus, China pissed too.

"Illinois Senators Want LSD Safety Review"
Also call for review of who hired Angelo Torres.

Oh wait, that didn't happen.

Programming Note
I'll be back behind the bar tonight at the venerable Beachwood Inn, slinging Old Styles and monitoring the jukebox for volume and quality control. Stop in between 5 p.m. and 2 a.m. and just tell me that Groupon sent you.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Group on, Group off.


Posted on February 8, 2011

MUSIC - Madonna vs. Moderna.
TV - Sundays With The Military-Industrial Complex.
POLITICS - Private Equity In The ER.
SPORTS - Suspicious Betting Trends In Soccer.

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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