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The [Tuesday] Papers

BREAKING! The Blagojevich jury just asked for a pitcher of water. Good for the government? Stay tuned for updates all day and a special panel on Chicago Tonight this evening.

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1. "CPS To Hold Public Budget Hearings This Week."

Will ignore public the following 51 weeks.

2. "CTA: About One Bus Collision A Day in 2009."

Worst offender identified.

3. "Braidwood Nuclear Plant Shuts Down, Vents Steam."

Nothing to see here.

4. "Turn Blue Island Refinery Into Fish Farm?"

Are these too obvious?

5. "Commanders Told To Make Lists of Worst Cops."

Today's Beachwood is safe for children.

6. Okay, let's kick it up a notch.

7. "Meat-Man Parfait Grabs Illinois State Fair's heart."

8. "Rostenkowski To Be Buried."

Along with the truth.

9. "Study Suggests Beer Could Give Women Psoriasis."

I'm not even going to go there.

10. "City to Cops: You're Not Writing Enough Tickets."

Cops to City: You're Not Hiring Enough Cops.

11. You know what's awesome about the Sox being three games back?

Everything.

12. Why is D-Lee still getting at-bats?

Because Jim Hendry is Hassling The Hoff.

13. "The Chicago native was seemingly born to be a star on the ice. She was skating by age 3, trained with top-flight coaches and claimed second place in the novice division at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships at age 11. At 14, she took fourth in the World Junior Championships."

And now, seemingly born for Celebrity Rehab.

14. "CPD Displaying Historical Department Artifacts."

Current artifacts, such as an accurate number of officers on the streets, remain unavailable.

15. "Jennifer Underwood, a SUBWAY Sandwich Artist from Spokane Valley, WA, captured first place in the 2010 Sub Jammers' Competition at the annual SUBWAY convention in Chicago, Ill., recently."

Who knew.

16. "Are you looking for help getting permits in and around Chicago? We help get residential and commercial building permits, special event and film permits, business and liquor licenses. We have the most reasonable rates in all of Chicago."

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The Beachwood Tip Line: Expedited.



Permalink

Posted on August 17, 2010


MUSIC - The Week In Chicago Rock.
TV - Trump FCC Opens Corporate Media Merger Floodgates.
POLITICS - Offshore Leaks Database.
SPORTS - Beachwood Radio: Broken Bears; Cubs' 7-Year Itch.

BOOKS - Inside The Book Of The Dead.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Lakes, Cheese & You.


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