The [Tuesday] Papers

Editor's Note: I'll be attending to business most of the day and I haven't even seen this morning's papers yet, though I suspect they are filled with, well, more of the same folly that's in them every day. However, in the interests of serving faithful readers, here are at least a few links that may brighten and inform your day.

1. "I've heard two arguments against the big box ordinance. The first is that we need jobs in minority communities. The second is that the law will be ineffective, because Wal-Mart will just ring the city with stores just across the city limits.

"Which is it folks? Because if Wal-Mart is just going to build on the other side of the street, can't city residents simply walk across the street to work there?"

- Yellow Dog Democrat, on Illinoize

2. The president goes on vacation. "Let's all hope that this year, the president doesn't tell his briefer 'Alright. You've covered your ass, now,' and then spend the rest of the afternoon fishing if handed another memo entitled Bin Ladin Determined to Strike in US, as he did five years ago."

- "An Unhappy Anniversary," Eric Alterman

3. Time Out Beirut.

4. The best-selling album of all-time. It's not what you think.

5. The all-purpose New Yorker cartoon caption (hat tip to Steve Johnson of the Tribune).

6. It does not take seven years to digest gum, and other popular science myths explored.

7. Former city budget director Bill Abolt, widely perceived as a Hired Truck scandal scapegoat, may run for alderman.

8. The Rolling Stones are wankers.

9. "9/11 Live: The Norad Tapes."

10." After joining up with a vicious gang of bikers known as the Slavers, Johnny (Erik Estrada of CHiPs fame) finds himself accused of a crime he didn't commit, the victim of crooked cops who want to turn Johnny's gang members against him. Now, alienated from the Slavers and enraged because they killed his wife and son, a leather-clad Johnny sets out on a one-man crusade in search of payback and revenge."

In Today's Reporter
* Our very own Pat Bataillon is filing daily to What I Watched Last Night. And by the way, you can too.

* Our very own Scott Gordon files part two of his series about kitchen reno . . . er, the Jammin' at the Zoo concert series. Only here in the BR. With killer illustration.

* Dusty Baker is at it again.

* If you wanna know what's wrong with Millennium Park - the book and the park - you have to read The New York Times. Or The Beachwood Reporter.

* Also only in The Beachwood Reporter: "Freedom Museum Exhibits We'd Like To See." If you only read one thing today, read this. If you've already read it, read it again.

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