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The [Tuesday] Papers

It's Bizarro World today.

* "Palin was seen as such a long shot by the Obama team, they did not bother much preparing for her arrival," Lynn Sweet reports. "They figured a probe into whether she influenced the firing of her former brother-in-law, an Alaskan state trooper, would knock her out of contention."

As opposed to the probe into Tony Rezko?

* "Palin's husband, Todd, was arrested for drunken driving in 1986."

Isn't that about the time Obama was doing a little blow?

* "If ever there was a warning of the dangers of inaccurate effuvia spinning around the Internet, it is the inaccurate story that ultimately outed the pregnancy of the 17-year-old Bristol Palin, daughter of Sarah Palin," Michael Sneed writes.

The same Michael Sneed who is so famously inaccurate that Chicago magazine twice in the 90s did full-page annotations of her columns showing what she got wrong, what she got late, and what she ripped off from other papers.

Alternate answer: Yes, the Internet sucks. Now I've got to get back to reading in the New York Times about how Steven Hatfill is the anthrax killer and plop in some old CNN videos about how Patsy Ramsey killed her daughter.

* John Kass also blames "the Internet", which is like attacking "The Magazines" because some of them publish nude photos of barely legals. (Kass makes sure to include the obligatory cliche about bloggers working out of basements; I guess that's where the Trib keeps its Internet folk.)

* "We can't help ourselves. A woman puts herself front and center, we're going to spend more time commenting on her looks than we would if a man were in the same position," Richard Roeper writes.

I'm not sure which is worse, the notion that "we" can't help ourselves ("just lay back and enjoy it, honey") or that somehow comments on Palin's looks are her own fault for "putting herself front and center."

* "So, you see, I'm not the only person concerned about all the violence," Stella Foster writes at the end of her priceless political analysis today.

Really? I thought you were! Yeah, you sure said it!

Relief Is Here
We have the world's best Palin roundup; the facts you need, the perspective you crave, and the wit you've come to expect.

And in case you missed us yesterday, catch up on these tasty morsels:

* Our latest installment in Kathryn Ware's wickedly awesome Ironside series. In this one, Quincy Jones pulls double duty.

* DNC Journal, a convention wrap-up.

* Our very own Citizen Kate hugs it out with Ralph Nader.

* The Cubs Answer Man returns to calm your first-place fears.

Plus all of today's new postings, conveniently summarized in that box up there called "Today's Beachwood."

Seriously, do we not rule?

Obaminating the Facts
Why oh why can't the Tribune get it right when it comes to Barack Obama and Joe Lieberman?

"Lieberman's relationship with Democrats dramatically soured in 2006, when he lost a primary to anti-war candidate Ned Lamont," John McCormick writes. "But he went on to win the general election running as an independent with strong backing from Republicans.

"The process left Lieberman feeling alienated from his former party, an outlook reinforced by the fact that this year's Democratic nominee, Obama, was one of the few members of his party in the Senate to send Lamont money and formally back him. "

Let's go through this again: Barack Obama endorsed the pro-war Lieberman in the primary, not the anti-war Ned Lamont. For some reason, the local papers do not want you to know this. Obama only changed his endorsement to Lamont after Lamont won the primary and became the official party candidate. As always, Obama then went with the party's man, even though Lieberman remained in the race as an independent. Suddenly, Lamont had become the better man for the job, even though we don't live in a Red America or a Blue America or a Purple America.

Chitlin Circuit
This astonishing nugget appears near the bottom of Sneed's column today:

"Legendary former Illinois Congressman Bob Michel, the house minority leader who retired in 1992, used to put on blackface and sing 'Ol Man River' at the annual Springfield Gridiron Dinner."

To which I can only say, all is forgiven, vote Barack.

Sneed also includes the obligatory nonsensical Judy Baar Topinka item just to keep her pal's name in the press. This time it's about how Judy likes to use the same coffee cup for days at a time.

Sneed makes a lot more money than I do. So does Stella. So do all of 'em.

Do you think Sun-Times reporters get paid extra to humiliate themselves?

I don't either.

Letter Vetters
I'm always curious when I see out-of-town letters showing up in the papers. For example, over the weekend the Sun-Times published letters from Dr. J. Alva Scruggs of Tallahasse and Bonnie O'Neill of Newport Beach.

Here's what else Scruggs wrote lately:

"The FBI, CIA, and the Anti Terrorism gangs knew that Obama was being targeted in a 'conspiracy' by group(s) of American Bubbers.That is why Obama was seen by the nation on TV Monday Night instead of being at the Democratic Convention!! Obama had been placed in a private undisclosed 'safe home' of FBI choosing."

And O'Neill, it turns out, is the vice president of the Eagle Forum of California.

Experience That Counts
"Obama tells CNN's Anderson Cooper on 360 that running his campaign counts as executive experience."

Yes. If you are applying for a job as a campaign manager.

The Beachwood Tip Line: Abstinent.


Posted on September 2, 2008

MUSIC - Who's Next In Chicago Rap.
TV - Tribune-Nexstar Deal Is Bad News.
POLITICS - Big Soda Hates You.
SPORTS - The Ex-Cub Factor.

BOOKS - Wright Brothers, Wrong Story!

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - The Bad News About Human Nature.

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