The [Tuesday] Papers

BREAKING: "The U.S. Supreme Court rejected former Illinois Gov. George Ryan's appeal of his federal racketeering and fraud conviction Tuesday, all but assuring the 74-year-old will serve out his 6 1/2-year federal prison sentence."

And now, on to our regularly scheduled programming . . . A lot of great new stuff on the Beachwood today. Look and click ->>>

Stat Whores
"During baseball season, you'll find Jon Passman in the press box at Wrigley Field or maybe U.S. Cellular Field. In the winter, when it's hockey and basketball season, you might see him at the United Center," Eric Benderoff writes in the Tribune.

"Like any sports reporter, he goes where the action is. But Passman doesn't fret about finding the right words to lure readers into a story. He doesn't write for a newspaper, magazine or a blog.

"Yet, it's his account of a ballgame - a detailed report of every pitch thrown - that tells millions of fans all they need to know. Passman's work, refreshed every minute, is sent to mobile phones, laptops and a host of other gadgets that help a nation of need-it-now sports fans not miss a moment."

(h/t: Chicagoist)

War Memorial
"Today is Memorial Day in the United States," our very own Marilyn Ferdinand wrote at Ferdy on Films yesterday. "It's a day when we remember our dead, particularly those who have served in combat. I mean no disrespect to the war dead and their families, but it has become more than painfully obvious that dying in war is no great honor, that war is a web of insanity in which sane people often are caught. Yet, we remember our fallen combatants in a sainted glow that, in my opinion, allows society to continue to make war. This myth is just one of many we as a society collude in to perpetuate norms."

Today's Worst People In Chicago
With a nod, as always, to Keith Olbermann.

1. Former state Rep. Carol Ronen.

2. White Sox shortstop Orlando Cabrera.

3. Cook County Assessor James Houlihan.

Random Thought
Isn't it kind of fitting that the city has an Amusement Tax?

Pundit Patrol
* "Thursday's indictees slouched and stared and whispered with their criminal defense lawyers," John Kass writes. "They looked away from their families, and though cameras aren't allowed in court, I can tell you what they did not look like.

"They don't look like people who would ever think of Chicago as Camelot and magical swords handed up to reformers from the Lady of Lake Michigan. They're not national political pundits, to believe in fairy tales."

* "Inside, up on the fifth floor, R. Kelly was on trial, accused of videotaping himself having sex with a girl of 13 or 14," Mary Schmich writes. "He says that's not him on the tape. The girl says that's not her.

"But if he did do it, [Sha'Dawn] Young would understand. It's a crime with ample context.

* "All Thursday's news conference lacked was the theme music from Band of Brothers to make the point as Fitzgerald and FBI chief Robert Grant emphasized that this investigation was not only done in concert with Hoffman, but also was the first time ever that a City Hall inspector general was trusted with federal wiretaps," Carol Marin writes.

"Helllloooooo, City Hall."

* ''I was just very young and immature,'' former Chicago Bear running back Rashan Salaam tells Greg Couch, in a cautionary column aimed at Cedric Benson. ''I was only 20 years old, and 20-year-olds are not supposed to be playing professional football.

''I wasn't ready mentally. It didn't have to do with the team, the coaching, any of that. I was just young. I put myself around the wrong people.

''You know how many football players are smoking weed?'' he said, acknowledging that he was one. ''Everybody smokes weed out there. That had nothing to do with it. I was just young and immature.''

Couch writes that Curtis Enis "has been a little tougher to reach. He used to work third shift at a garage-door company in Russia, Ohio. Supposedly, he had lost all his money. But the company's human resources department said he doesn't work there anymore. Some reports say he was studying to be a cop."

* "Introducing sex education in schools was not a bright idea," Stella Foster writes. "[I]t interferes and distracts a young person from thinking about education to just thinking about doing the nasty. Self-esteem classes should be taught instead."

CeasePR
"The major problem with such mediocre social science research is that it is usually done in conjunction with an agenda and released to the media as if it is gospel," Tracy Jake Siska writes about the recent spate of CeaseFire publicity. "Suffice it to say, Eric Zorn from the Tribune and Alex Kotlowitz from Northwestern who authored an article in the New York Times Magazine swallowed deeply when it came to the findings of this Evaluation without ever questioning the methodology or the results."

Plastic Cocktail Drink Monkeys
These little plastic primates turn any ordinary cocktail into a swinging party drink.

Thank You, Mike Gravel
For your contribution.

The Beachwood Tip Line: Say what you want.