The [Tuesday] Papers
* Use CTA Google Maps to plan your evacuation route!
* Tribune: "Clinton Hits Hard At Finish"
* "Primitive life is very common and intelligent life is fairy rare," Stephen Hawking says. "Some would say it has yet to occur on Earth."
And many have! One of the world's smartest men shows how difficult original comedy is.
* "Hamas Rejects Carter Plan."
Refuses to keep temperature at 68 degrees.
* "Obama outspends Hillary 5-1."
Says he's taking money out of politics - and giving it to ad agencies and TV stations.
* "National City Slashes Dividend."
That's because they've been paying everybody's ATM fees.
* "The Chicago Board Options Exchange reported a 74 percent surge in its first-quarter net income."
* "Mixed-Income Homes Dedicated Near Cabrini."
To the poor people who used to live there.
* "Dentist Sues, Says He Was Hurt By Benny The Bull's High-Five"
Claims Benny said he would just feel a twinge.
* "Military Allows More Felons To Enlist."
Plan also creates much-needed prison space.
* "Idiots Find Fame In 24/7 YouTube World."
"Who in their right mind would make the person who wanted the No. 1 spot, as the person who has your back (so to speak)? I would think that person really wouldn't mean me any good and would secretly wish me a downfall or a fall from grace! And I certainly wouldn't accept a drink from that individual."
"Another question: Is it just me who thinks that those sex hungry, horny-toad male polygamists are just self-serving and having so many wives is an ego trip?"
It's just you. Nobody else on the planet has ever voiced such a thought.
"Also, the alleged abuse of the children is just sick. Why can't the women (who remind me of the robotic Stepford Wives) have many husbands? The whole polygamy scandal (under the guise of religion) is disturbing. And who's doing those wives' hair?? Yeah, I said it!"
Better than I could.
"If the pattern holds, and it likely will, cities that host Olympic events tend to lose money. These short-term, overly hyped events, as opposed to longer term, well-thought-out urban investments, have low or negative rates of return."
Beachwood Labs takes you inside Chicago 2016's polling.
"The electricity was turned off again at 9:10 a.m. to facilitate the evacuation, officials said."
Leggo My Eggo
* I'm scheduled to appear on the NBC5 morning news show at about 6:50 a.m. on Wednesday to talk about the Pennsylvania primary results. Following that, you can send me questions via the NBC5 website and we'll do a little Internet chatting.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Clingy.
Posted on April 22, 2008
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