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The [Thursday] Papers

"Chicago-based Turtle Wax continues to make its hometown shine at the 2020 Chicago Auto Show," the company says in a press release.

"As the exclusive car care sponsor of the 2020 Chicago Auto Show, held Feb. 8-17 at McCormick Place, Turtle Wax will keep the nearly 1,000 vehicles on display shining their best and spotlight its latest innovation, Turtle Wax Hybrid Solutions, with product demonstrations as well special events in its engaging exhibit all show long."

I only bring you this scintillating news because it reminded me of the first joke I kind of purposely wrote, rather than just said in the moment. I was in high school, and me and a friend did a comedy open mic. The joke was this:

"I'm against the annual slaughter of turtles just for their wax."


P.S.: Until today, I did not know Turtle Wax was based in Chicago. According to their website, the company originated in the 1930s when "Ben Hirsch invent[ed] liquid auto polish in the family bathtub." (Wikipedia pegs this event as 1941 - and notes that Turtle Wax isn't actually based in Chicago but in Addison. Yay, Wikipedia, you rule! Despite what the legacy media folks who don't understand it keep saying.)

The ensuing product was originally called Plastone. It was renamed Turtle Wax in 1946 because of its "hard shell finish." I did not know that!


Also, according to Wikipedia: "Turtle Wax is the largest automotive appearance products company in the world and distributes its products in more than 90 countries."


And, check out this vintage Turtle Wax commercial, via their website but also on YouTube:


But, just on Sunday: Suit Blames Area Refineries And Turtle Wax For 24-Year-Old Wood River Man's Cancer.

There's always the reality behind the products we love.


Reader Pete Anderson adds:

"Here's another Turtle Wax tidbit for you: their former HQ at Madison, Ashland and Ogden. With giant turtle!"


Lombard Contractor Kidnapping
"An American contractor was captured by Taliban-aligned militants in Afghanistan last week, triggering a country-wide recovery effort, Newsweek has learned.

"Mark R. Frerichs of Lombard, Illinois, was kidnapped last Friday in Khost, a province located in the southeastern part of the country that borders the Federally Administered Tribal Areas, an underdeveloped region between Afghanistan and Pakistan, U.S. officials told Newsweek, who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the details publicly.

"Frerichs, 57, is a former U.S. Navy diver and the managing director for International Logistical Support, a U.S. government contractor. According to his LinkedIn account, he has worked as a civil engineer in several conflict zones from Iraq to Sudan during the past 10 years, where he has consulted on logistical contracts for both governments and non-governmental organizations. U.S. officials told Newsweek Frerichs had regularly traveled to Afghanistan since 2012."


Via Shia Kapos's Politico Illinois Playbook: "Frerichs is not related to state Treasurer Mike Frerichs."


Income Store Runs Out Of Main Product
"An Illinois man was indicted on a federal fraud charge for operating what authorities are calling a Ponzi scheme that raised $75 million," the Sun-Times reports.

"A criminal complaint filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court accused Kenneth D. Courtright of committing wire fraud through his Monooka-based company, Today's Growth Consultant Inc., which also operated under a division named 'The Income Store.'"


Entrepreneur magazine in 2016: Infusionsoft, Salesforce, Brendon Burchard And Ken Courtright Have All Proved That Money Follows Mission.

Ken Courtright is, without doubt, one of the top digital content curators and online traffic-cops on the planet. With 700 of the world's top revenue-generating websites under his guidance at IncomeStore, Courtright partners with entrepreneurs and hedge funds to turn their flat-lining websites into digital cities that kick-off massive amounts of advertising revenue . . .

Years ago, Courtright started studying online traffic generation / direction. He also started analyzing how the content, if created properly, could lead to massive increases in the amount of people who went to his website. Then he installed a Google Adsense account, and Google started paying him thousands. He realized that he has created a very specific, in-demand expertise, and he became overwhelmed with a desire to teach others how to do it.

That was his secret sauce? I'll take the ketchup and mayonaisse at Bronco Burger, thank you!


See also this Reddit thread, which started five months ago:

Income Store from r/investing


Ink Stink
"For four years, Black Ink Crew: Chicago has followed the personal and professional lives of the employees of the 9Mag tattoo shop in Pilsen," Tracy Swartz reports for the Tribune.

"The new season of the VH1 show recently introduced a new tattoo shop with its own drama. Former 9Mag worker Charmaine Walker said she opened 2nd City Ink in October because she 'was tired of asking for a seat at the table, and I decided to build my own.'

"But while 2nd City Ink has been heavily featured on Black Ink Crew: Chicago since Season 6 premiered Dec. 4, questions have been raised about the legitimacy of the North Side tattoo shop."

You're gonna want to click through for the details, but for now I'll just fast-forward to the meat:

"There were no signs for 2nd City Ink on the outside of the building when the Tribune visited. The appointment-only shop has more than 69,000 Instagram followers, but there's no website. More importantly, a spokeswoman for the Illinois Department of Public Health said there's no record of the shop's registration with the department, as required by state law."


Amazon Warehouses Are Hellholes



New on the Beachwood . . .

Trump's Twisted Christian Nationalism
"It would be a grave mistake to minimize the president's words as cheap talking points written for him on a teleprompter. Trump declared his allegiance to an agenda embraced by religious authoritarians and advanced by pressure groups who don't disclose their finances but very much do have the attention and support of the president."



Chicago's Art Institute Adds Free Days For Illinois Residents Through March 4 from r/chicago



View this post on Instagram

some VERY sick bookmarks 📚

A post shared by Quimbys Bookstore (@quimbysbookstore) on



Chicago Inline Hockey Thursday League.



Surprise For New Yorkers: No More Broker Fees.


A sampling of the delight and disgust you can find @BeachwoodReport.







The Beachwood Tip Line: Sound off.


Posted on February 6, 2020

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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