Chicago - Sep. 16, 2019
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A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (tvguide.com)
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The [Thursday] Papers

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Unbearable
In case you haven't heard, the Bears open the NFL season tonight at Soldierz Field against the Packers. But we may already have in hand the season's worst take:

Actually it's the easiest thing in the world to argue.

First, it was madness! Are you kidding me?

Second, none of the nine kickers in their competition made the team! Once they were done with their scientifically, consultant-added kick-off, they went out and traded for Eddy Pineiro instead!

Oh, but that's not all. The Bears had such confidence in Pineiro that they then tried to trade for Baltimore's Kaare Vedvik. The Vikings got him instead - and he was so bad they released him.

So yeah, finding it hard to argue against the Bears' approach takes an awful lot of strenuous work, beat-sweetening and blue-and-orange-colored glasses.

Scott Mitchell Trubisky
"Mitch Trubisky . . . currently resides in the Bortles Valley where you can be a top-3 draft pick and have people still be shocked when you do something capable on the field," Drew Magary writes for Deadspin.

He's not wrong!

"There are times when Mitch looks razor sharp, and then there are times when he looks like he just converted from playing slot receiver."

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The rest of Magary's piece is gold, including, "Rahm's not mayor anymore! You're FREE. Until he goes on television again eight seconds from now."

Go read it all.

Sweet & Sour
WGN-TV premiered Savoring Sweetness: The Life and Times of Walter Payton last night.

If you savor the truth, though, you'll have to read the book.

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In the Beachwood today . . .

Chicago Predicts The Bears Season
We have the best, most comprehensive and surprising aggregation of Bears predictions you'll find anywhere!

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The Truth About The New Halas Hall
(Hint: It's absurd.)

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Coffee Talk

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New on the Beachwood . . .

State Terrorism Task Force Distributes STOP The Bleed Kits To Every Illinois School
"A STOP the Bleed kit contains a C-A-T tourniquet, QuikClot Bleeding Control Dressing, Emergency Trauma Dressing, MicroShield Mask, Nitrile gloves, Trauma shears, Permanent marker and Instruction card."

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ChicagoReddit

Hoping to adopt a dog, landlord asking us to pay for his liability insurance from r/chicago

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ChicagoGram

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ChicagoTube

Tyler, the Creator at UIC on Wednesday night.

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BeachBook

Alpine Valley Sold For $7.5 Million.

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TweetWood
A sampling of the delight and disgust you can find @BeachwoodReport.

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The Beachwood Tip Your Cap Line: Sometimes you just gotta do it.



Permalink

Posted on September 5, 2019


MUSIC - How Africa Adopted Jimmie Rodgers.
TV - Sinclair, ABC Light AOC On Fire.
POLITICS - SCOTUS's Border Wall Fiasco.
SPORTS - Beachwood Sports Radio: Dead Team(s) Walking.

BOOKS - The Hidden Places Of World War 2.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Wisconsin Is America's Goatland.


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