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The [Thursday] Papers

Let's take a look around the landscape.

1. Today's Worst Person In Chicago Is Opening A New Restaurant Tonight With The City's Second-Most Expensive Tasting Menu, And That's Not Even Why He's So Awful.

2. On This Day In 1966, Bob Dylan Changed The World. Again. And Not For The Last Time.

"The first double album was recordings from the Carnegie Hall Concert headlined by Benny Goodman, released in 1950 on Columbia Records, that label having introduced the LP two years earlier. Studio recordings of operas have been released as double, triple, quadruple and quintuple albums since the 1950s. The first rock double album was Bob Dylan's Blonde on Blonde released on May 16, 1966. It was soon followed by Frank Zappa & the Mothers Of Invention's debut record, Freak Out!, released on June 27, 1966."


Regarding the opening track to Blonde on Blonde:

"In Dylan's 'Rainy Day Woman #12 and 35,' he repeatedly sings, 'Everybody must get stoned!' It is true that 12 multiplied by 35 is 420. However, there is a lack of information to either confirm or deny that this is the official origin of 420."


Dylan not only set the standard for the double album, but for the box set.

3. The Truth About Pinocchio's Nose.

"[T]he original story is a work of considerable complexity, comparable to Alice in Wonderland or Gulliver's Travels and much darker than Disney's cheery fable about the price of youthful mendacity . . .

"Ask people the moral of the Pinocchio fable and doubtless most will say it is a cautionary tale about lying. Yet the puppet's famously extending nose does not feature as a lie detector at any point in the original series, which ended in grim fashion with two villains hanging Pinocchio from a tree to die."

4. Vote Early, Vote Russian.

"Angry members of the Florida congressional delegation demanded the FBI tell the public which two counties were successfully infiltrated by Russian hackers in 2016, with U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz calling the bureau's reasoning that the counties were victims under FBI protocol 'ludicrous," the Orlando Sentinel reports.

"Members also revealed that while the FBI said there was 'no evidence' that voter rolls were changed, 'they couldn't say with certainty [the hackers] did not manipulate data,' U.S. Rep. Debbie Mucarsel-Powell said Thursday."


As you may recall, "The special counsel's report also cited another attack on computers in Illinois, which had already been reported . . .

"In Illinois, hackers infiltrated a voter registration database at the state's elections board in June 2016 and, according to a federal indictment last year, downloaded personal details of roughly 500,000 voters before being detected.

"Both federal and state officials have previously said that Russian attacks on election systems did not succeed in altering any votes."

5. When I Suggested 'Airport Tinder' As A Way To Cope With Long TSA Lines.

I still believe in that idea - and the concept in general. You walk into a bar and you get hyperlocal Tinder, a list of everyone in the bar who is available and looking.

I mean, Tinder does run on geolocation, but hyper-geolocation? Instead of learning someone is four miles from you, how about learning someone is four stools from you?

6. This Just In From The Empty Bottle.

7. What Molly Hatchet Said.

I've been to Alabama, people, ain't a whole lot to see/Skynyrd says it's a real sweet home but it ain't nothin' to me.

8. If You Thought Abortion Rights Were Protected In Illinois If SCOTUS Overturned Roe You Would Be Wrong.

9. Dear CBS2 Chicago: "Critics" or "Experts?"

10. A 'Century Plant' In Chicago Is Having An Epic Growth Spurt.

"[T]he plant has reached a towering 32 feet tall - too big for its greenhouse home - and is showing little sign of slowing down."


"Century Plant," Victoria Williams.


New on the Beachwood . . .

Angie's List Is A Sham
Now with a comment from the executive editor of The Review Society - and my response.



PSA: wearing a dress on a nice day is NOT an invitation to grab someone's ass on a packed blue line train during their morning commute. from r/chicago



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Battle For The Eagle At The Writers' Bench, Logan Square.



Irish Hotel Surprises Its Only Muslim Guest With Full-Buffett Suhoor.


New Statue Of Liberty Museum Illuminates A Forgotten History.


Empire In Denial.


A sampling.





The Beachwood McRibTipLine: The future is unwritten.


Posted on May 16, 2019

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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