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The [Thursday] Papers
Ugh, sometimes I feel like this site and this column have become so lame, I mean, I know we're far from the glory days, but I try to maintain some level of respectability. And the truth is, I still think a lot of what I do in this column is underappreciated - though shoutout to the fine folks who recently contributed donations to help keep me going. I can't thank y'all enough.
All of which is to say that I had a doctor's appointment today and I just got back - it's about 3 p.m. - so I'm just going to post the bottom half of stuff and start working on tomorrow's column, when I can hopefully deliver some meat.
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Why did my doctor's visit take so long? Well, they had to draw blood, and the (awesome) nurse couldn't find a vein, which got me talking about my fascination with Intervention and the veins of junkies (which is not me, by the way), and then they didn't want to poke the fuck out of me so they sent me to the hospital to have their lab take the blood instead. And boy did they take it. Filled up a half dozen vials, I bet. "Is this thing still going?" I said when I realized there was still something stuck in my arm. "Yeah, they ordered a lot of tests." (Don't tell mom.)
I was on foot, too, so the whole adventure took about 4 1/2 hours when all was said and done.
By the way, I was a delight. I kept the staff in stitches, ha ha. They were about to send me to the children's ward to buck up spirits there. "I'm the funniest depressed person you will ever meet," I told them. They believed me.
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Also, several years ago I told myself to quit apologizing for the days when I don't have an all-out, full-metal, four-to-the-floor column. But I feel an obligation, even if this site is free. I feel like I have to meet expectations, however lowered they may have become the last few years. It's ridiculous.
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Does that sound, like, self-important or something? I don't mean it to. I think I need a job. Or a windfall. I still care about what I do!
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I have less blood in me right now than when I woke up.
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When the first nurse was trying to take blood, she asked if I wore a costume for Halloween. I said, "Every year I think about going as a happy person, but I don't think I could pull it off."
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Then she asked that I make a fist to assist her in finding a vein. So I made a fist and grimaced and said, "I hate my boss - and I work for myself!"
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At the hospital lab, we talked about the difference between that place (Norwegian) and Northwestern. Our health-care system is fucked up. We ration away poor people. We literally do not provide proper care, if care at all, to those who need it most. We are a sick, sick society.
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By the way, I can't find a therapist who takes Medicaid. How fucked up is that.
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In my world, the doctor will call and say, "We have your test results and there's only one cure for what you've got: More rock."
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New on the Beachwood . . .
Judge: "Deliberate Indifference" Of IDOC Mental Health Care Requires Federal Oversight
"A federal court has found that the State of Illinois continues to violate the constitutional rights of more than 12,000 prisoners with mental illness."
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View From True North
"These feverish lyric poems find a sharp beauty in their grieving, where Rolling Stone covers and hidden erotic photographs turn into talismans of regret and empathy."
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RECALL! O Sole Mio Chicken Tortellini
The heat-treated, not fully cooked, not shelf-stable chicken tortellini item was shipped to Illinois.
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ChicagoReddit
Michigan Deposit Bottle Scam from r/chicago
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ChicagoGram
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ChicagoTube
Chicago Dancesport Challenge - Novice Latin Cha Cha Final
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BeachBook
Trump FCC Official Publicly Lying About Censorship On Municipal Broadband.
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TweetWood
A sampling.
Daily Stormer home page: pic.twitter.com/Jqr92zciLh
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) November 1, 2018
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Was just served this ad on Politico: pic.twitter.com/LesssVFMHa
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) November 1, 2018
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UK residents 'outraged' after Illinois GOP candidate uses image of their village in ad attacking Dem opponent https://t.co/TFKVWgRTaS
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) November 1, 2018
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Job Posting: #WhiteSox Baseball Operations | FanGraphs Baseball https://t.co/IbuorbPXq1
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) November 1, 2018
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The Beachwood Tip Line: Post up.
Posted on November 1, 2018
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