The [Thursday] Papers

"Chicago Fire Commissioner Jose Santiago on Wednesday defended his 60-day suspension of a lieutenant who refused to send underlings into an area where they might be exposed to Ebola but said the city will accept an arbitrator's ruling overturning the suspension," the Sun-Times reports.

What area in Chicago could expose someone to Ebola? The article doesn't say.

Really.

I mean, I read it four times. Am I missing something? Am I currently sitting in the Ebola area? Is it someone's house? Was it on fire?

Did the lieutenant in question just generally refuse pre-emptively to enter an Ebola scene? The article says it was a specific, actual incident. Again, is it me or is there a hole in this story as big as the one in Jason Heyward's swing?

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I tried, but Google had no comment.

I did learn, however, that in May the department introduced its first so-called "Ebola ambulance," though it seems to be designed for a range of infectious diseases. More are on the way. Perhaps they will have cloaking devices to maintain the mystery.

Judge Not
"The lawyer who allegedly posed as a judge has been indicted on criminal charges, the latest fallout from the scandal that began when the judicial hopeful from the South Side put on a black robe and presided over three traffic cases, her lawyer said Thursday," the Tribune reports.

"The indictment, handed up by a Cook County grand jury, charges attorney Rhonda Crawford with two criminal counts, according to her lawyer, Victor Henderson, who said the Cook County state's attorney's office informed him of the indictment but did not specify the charges."

For the somewhat mind-blowing background, see The [Tuesday] Papers.

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I presume Crawford is still the favorite in her campaign to be elected a real judge. #Rigged

Bar Exam
"A Northwestern researcher who sent hundreds of fake resumes to law firms found that hiring managers were most impressed by male applicants who claimed passions for polo and sailing," Crain's noted in its "Morning 10" newsletter on Wednesday.

Here's the Atlantic article that explains it all.

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Wouldn't you love to see a similar experiment run on our esteemed news organizations? Assignment Desk, activate!

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Riv Stagehands Trick-or-Treat For Union Contract
Target: JAM Productions.

Fake News And False Flags
Shaping public opinion for war.

Chicago Artist Loads Up On Bank Of America Stock!
Or did he?

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From the Beachwood sports desk . . .

Cubs Retweet: The Bats Are Back
But the series is still a toss-up, yo.

The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report: Nip Slip
What if I told you . . .

Fantasy Fix: Hoyer Plays Well (Again), May Lose Job
Throwing a fourth-straight 300-yard game somehow a disappointment.

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BeachBook

Cubs Made Los Angeles A Home Before The Dodgers Did.

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Ex-Sports Marketing Agent To Plead Guilty In FIFA Bribe Case.

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TweetWood
A sampling.

My brothers got a great idea for Trump's next move pic.twitter.com/vvH5pXlWBU

— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) October 20, 2016

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It's official. 4 debates and 0 questions on #climatechange #debatenight

— Praveen Madhiraju (@BytyqiBrothers) October 20, 2016

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1. Make claim Gore took election to federal court.
2. Show claimant it was Bush who petitioned.
3. Claimant rejects fact as "liberal"
SMH

— Walter Katz (@katz_oversight) October 20, 2016

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Absolutely priceless. Read the replies.

Look at the angle of Hillary's gaze. She is NOT looking down at her notes, she is looking AT the lit panel. pic.twitter.com/sl3eZEP5b8

— Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) October 20, 2016

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The Beachwood Tronc Line: Double-dog dare ya.

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