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The [Thursday] Papers

"The Chicago Cubs franchise is worth 20 percent more than it was last year despite another losing season, while value of the White Sox stayed put, according to Forbes' annual list of Major League Baseball team valuations," Danny Ecker notes for Crain's.

"The Cubs are worth $1.2 billion - fourth-highest value in the league and 42 percent more than the Ricketts family paid for the team in 2009, according to Forbes."

In other news, Ricketts family reminds fans it takes great courage to be patient.

Burke Shirk
"Anne Burke shared some behind-the-scenes stories of her life as an Illinois Supreme Court justice [Tuesday] during a Rotary Club of Chicago luncheon," Shia Kapos reports for Crain's.

Except for the story we're all still waiting to hear: How her appointment to the state's highest court was engineered by her "dearest friend."

Reporting Rauner

Don't we already know the answer to that question? Maybe ask him his latest version of how he clouted his daughter into Payton Prep. Or about he immediately changed his wardrobe and rhetoric upon winning the GOP nomination. Or what exactly he'll cut to balance the state's budget without raising taxes. (And if he says he'll convene a statewide task force, if that's what he does when he takes over companies as a private equity manager.) Or about this fact-check of his jobs claims. I've got more suggestions if you need them.

Missed Target

Let me fix that for you:

"In Chicago, Rahm Emanuel cut the number of clinics in half."

Always use the active voice.

Code Blue Hoo Hoo
"Rather than add trauma-ready ambulances to reduce the sometimes-alarming Chicago Fire Department response times in Chicago, city officials appear to be taking another tact: Trying to cover up the problem.

The Better Government Association and CBS2 recently obtained a memo in which a city official urges dispatchers to stop sounding so alarmist over the radio when ambulances aren't available to immediately respond to 911 calls.

In other words, soft-pedal it on the air when there's a shortage of "advanced life support," or ALS, ambulances. (They handle trauma cases including gunshot wounds and heart attacks, while "basic life support" or BLS ambulances handle less severe medical problems.)

According to the memo, dispatchers should not say: "No ALS ambulance anywhere close, you'll have to use BLS ambulance 82."

Nor should dispatchers say "We have no ALS available . . . the best we can do is BLS ambulance 86."

"Rather," the memo states, "we want to use a more measured message like '[Engine] 38 your ambulance is 86.'"

The city's response is also an example of managing a message instead of responding to a problem.

"Melissa Stratton, a spokeswoman for OEMC, said the memo was simply a reminder for dispatchers to use approved language.

"It's an informal internal document that was distributed . . . by a supervisor on the Fire Operations Floor to call takers and dispatchers, with the intention of reminding them to use the approved protocols for radio dispatch," Stratton said via e-mail.

Melissa Stratton, you are Today's Worst Person In Chicago.


You can endorse Melissa for strategic communications here.


Disclosure: I'm working on a couple reporting projects for the BGA right now. I would have written this item even if I wasn't.

Impeaching Rahm
"Timothy Flanagan, the former Illinois State University president who resigned shortly after a police investigation of an alleged confrontation with a school employee, has been charged with a misdemeanor in that incident, officials said Tuesday," the Tribune reports.

"Flanagan, whose resignation was approved Saturday in a special meeting of the board of trustees in Normal, allegedly yelled insults at Patrick Murphy, a university grounds crew employee 'inches away from his face' and flailed his arms in a manner that 'alarmed and disturbed' Murphy, according to a McLean County state's attorney's office news release."

If that's all it takes to charge someone with a misdemeanor and remove them from office, cops should be on their way over to the fifth floor of City Hall right now. That's just the Rahm getting warmed up every morning.

Obama Rewrites Iraq War
Another fairy tale.

Chicago Crime Up, Down, All Around
"I have served nine police superintendents, and each one had a different way of releasing numbers to the public," a retired Chicago police lieutenant writes.

"Through those years I have seen numbers inflated, ignored, exaggerated, manipulated, deflated and, yes, even made up."

Feder [Hearts] Goudie
And other local oxymorons.

Dudes In Wireless Soul Not Even Old Enough To Be Dudes
Straight outta da Chicago suburbs.

On The Road To Literacy
"This year's daylong session will feature 24 workshops whose speakers will be presenting strategies, techniques, materials and games to use to help tutors build their student's vocabulary, pronunciation, conversation, comprehension, reading, writing, computer and computational skill.

"Educators, staff, tutors, and new readers from adult literacy programs and government and social service agencies from throughout the Chicago area will lead the 50-minute presentations."

* How The Average McDonald's Makes Twice As Much As The Average Burger King.

Also tastes twice as better.

* The Chicago Tourism Board's Way Boring New Promo Video.

Narrated by legendardy journoshill Bill Kurtis.













Both administrations Democratic.




The Beachwood Tip Line: Simple, ruling.


Posted on March 27, 2014

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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