The [Thursday] Papers

By the time Illinois holds its Republican primary in March, Rick Santorum may be long gone from the race, but for now stories like this one that include his yearbook photo from Carmel Catholic High School in Mundelein are fun and interesting to read.

See also: SantorumIllinois.com.

He Fought For Your Rights
"As the longest-serving executive director of the Illinois ACLU, Jay Miller was at the center of legal battles that stretched from defending protestors at the 1968 Democratic National Convention to challenging racial profiling at the turn of the century," the Sun-Times reports.

"In his four decades with the organization, he denounced threats to civil liberties wherever he saw them - whether it was filing suit on behalf of women who were subjected to police strip-searches after traffic stops, or criticizing angry African-American aldermen who ripped a student painting of Mayor Harold Washington in women's undergarments off a wall of the School of the Art Institute.

"Mr. Miller, 83, died Tuesday in Evanston of complications from emphysema, said his son, Joshua.

Thank you for your service, Jay Miller.

Standard Issue
At this point, you can pretty much just fill in the blank on these Obama hypocrisy stories.

Your Vote Rarely Counts
"Every vote really does count," the Tribune reports.

"That adage rang true Tuesday for Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney after he was declared the winner in the Iowa caucuses by a scant eight votes over Rick Santorum.

"The concept of close votes easily brings to mind the 2000 presidential election in which a narrow margin of votes between George W. Bush and Al Gore brought court challenges, concerns about voting technology and popularization of 'hanging chads.'"

Um, not really.

Al Gore received 543,895 more votes than George W. Bush in 2000.

And in Florida, Gore clearly received more votes than Bush - even before considering the butterfly ballot in Palm Beach County.

As far as Iowa goes, 122,255 votes were cast and for all intents and purposes it was a tie. Mitt Romney and Santorum each received 11 delegates. Big whoop.

Ron Paul Not Dead Yet
His racist newsletters will play well in South Carolina, no?

Punchline Please
"Mayor Rahm Emanuel today justified cutting Taste of Chicago in half, saying the number of days do not determine the appeal of the lakefront restaurant showcase," the Tribune reports.

"It's what we fill those days with and what quality of both food and experience we bring to the families of the city of Chicago," Emanuel said.

I feel like that's begging for a punchline, but I can't seem to find it. Maybe something about turkey legs.

CPS FAIL
"Chicago Public Schools employees repeatedly took advantage of lax oversight or exploited the system to benefit themselves financially during the year leading to an overhaul of CPS leadership, says the annual report released Wednesday by the district's inspector general," the Tribune reports.

"The report noted systemic abuses of the federal free lunch program at one West Side high school where school and even district employees had enrolled their children to receive free or reduced lunches despite earning six-figure salaries."

I feel like that's begging for a punchline, but I can't seem to find it. Maybe something about Taste of Chicago.

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"According to the report, payroll errors led to 185 retired teachers being paid more than $1.13 million in improper vacation and holiday pay after returning to the classroom to teach part time."

The Bobs notified payroll; the glitch will work itself out.

Movie Madness
Watch Rob Lowe Actually Take His Role As Drew Peterson In A Crappy Lifetime Movie Seriously.

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