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The [Thursday] Papers

Just because we've never heard until now that Rod Blagojevich has some sort of substance abuse problem - and just because ex-con Scott Fawell just suggested that Blago fake just such a problem to get time trimmed off his sentence - doesn't mean it isn't true.

I hereby offer the services of The Beachwood Media Company to find out. Some associates of mine will attempt to show Blago a good time and see how he holds up. I bet he doesn't last more than a couple hours but we'll let him name the substances he wishes to abuse and hope for the best.


Of course, it doesn't take much to qualify for a prison treatment program these days; "as little as regularly consuming five alcoholic drinks a week before they had been incarcerated," the Tribune reports.

Who doesn't have five drinks the week (the day!) before reporting to prison?

If that's the standard, sign me up. But isn't a drink a day supposed to be good for your heart? (And two drinks a day good for the soul?)


Here's another thing that doesn't make sense: "inmates are given an initial screening by medical and psychological staff on their arrival at the institution but are not screened for admittance into the substance-abuse program until three to four years before their release date."

In other words, prisoners aren't treated upon entry into the system but near their release. So, theoretically, they are forced to go cold turkey without the attendant treatment most addicts need and then given treatment years after they, theoretically, haven't had a drink or whatever substance they are/were addicted to. (I say theoretically because everyone knows drugs and alcohol can be procured in prison by people who know how to get such things.)


"Their criteria, the bar, is pretty low," Fawell said. "If it's available and you qualify for it, you'd be crazy not to take it."

Spoken like a true political operator.

The Koschman Case
"More than seven years after her 21-year-old son David Koschman died as the result of a punch thrown by a nephew of then-Mayor Richard M. Daley, Nanci Koschman asked Wednesday for the appointment of a special prosecutor to re-examine the entire case, asserting that criminal charges would have been filed long ago if not for the Daley family connection," the Sun-Times reports.

"The Mount Prospect woman asked Chief Cook County Criminal Courts Judge Paul Biebel Jr. to name an independent, outside prosecutor to investigate David Koschman's 2004 death after being punched in the face by Richard J. 'R.J.' Vanecko and determine whether criminal charges should be filed against Vanecko.

"She also asked that the special prosecutor examine the conduct of the Chicago Police Department and the Cook County state's attorney's office in investigating the death, which at various points was labeled by authorities as a homicide case and a murder but never resulted in any criminal charges."

"'Had Vanecko not been a member of the powerful Daley family, he would have been charged with the homicide,' Koschman says in court papers filed on behalf of her, her sister Susan Pazderski and brother-in-law Richard Pazderski by attorneys Locke E. Bowman and Alexa Van Brunt of Northwestern University Law School's Roderick MacArthur Justice Center and G. Flint Taylor of the People's Law Office."

Rahm's Fake Transparency
Take your data portal and shove it.

Saving Christmas Pt. 1
"A US strip club is offering free lap dances to patrons who donate toys to disadvantaged kids," Female First reports.

"The 'Lap Dances for the Needy' initiative - which led to 'five car loads' of toys being donated last year - has been re-launched by Chicago's Admiral Theatre."

Saving Christmas Pt. 2
"Two students at a high school in Illinois have found a way to force their fellow classmates to give more to charity - torture them with Justin Bieber," the Imperfect Parent reports.

"According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Charlotte Runzel and Jesse Chatz at Evanston High School wanted to raise $1,000 for a nearby cafe and arts center, so they talked school administrators into playing the Bieber song 'Baby' over the intercom at the end of each class period until Runzel and Chatz had reached their fundraising goal.

"They collected the money within three days."

Tebow Wire
"Denver's win over Chicago on Sunday was yet another comeback led by former Florida QB Tim Tebow," the Orlando Sentinel reports. "The NFL had him wired for sound during the game, with some of the more interesting moments airing on Wednesday night. A part of that segment is available online.

"In one of the neat moments, Tebow encourages Demaryius Thomas after the receiver lets what would have been a touchdown pass slip through his hands at the 10-yard line. Thomas takes the blame as the two sit on the bench before Tebow responds, 'Hey, guess what? You're about to go catch the game winner here in a minute.'"

The Bears will win on Sunday, but the party's over.

Chicago Confidential
Ripped out of tomorrow's headlines.

This Is Freight!
Moving things in 1940s Chicago.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Moving.





Posted on December 15, 2011

MUSIC - Madonna vs. Moderna.
TV - Sundays With The Military-Industrial Complex.
POLITICS - Private Equity In The ER.
SPORTS - Suspicious Betting Trends In Soccer.

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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