Chicago - Oct. 15, 2021
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA
This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps
Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List
Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll
Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law
Letters to the Editors
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising

The [Thursday] Papers

"Democratic Gov. Pat Quinn today gave a highly paid position to the daughter of a powerful Chicago alderman who was a major campaign donor," the Tribune reports.

"Attorney Jennifer Burke, 41, was named to the Illinois Pollution Control Board, a post that pays $117,043, Quinn's office said."

I know what the cynics are thinking, but Jennifer is eminently qualified for the job. As a member of the Burke family, she has a lot of experience with smokescreens.


"She is the daughter of Justice Anne Burke and 14th Ward Ald. Ed Burke, chairman of the City Council's Finance Committee. Jennifer Burke works for the city as an assistant corporation counsel supervisor. As of last month, her annual salary was $99,948.

"Reached by phone, Justice Burke said she had not heard of her daughter's appointment and that it is 'absolutely not' connected to political donations to Quinn. The justice said she had no further comment."

It's none of our business.


"Disclosures showed the Friends of Edward M. Burke campaign fund loaned Quinn $200,000 during his campaign for governor and donated more than $52,000 since Justice Burke swore Quinn into office in January 2009 following the ouster of Gov. Rod Blagojevich.

"Quinn's office also rejected the notion that campaign donations played a role in the appointment. Quinn spokeswoman Annie Thompson defended Jennifer Burke's nomination, saying she most recently focused on regulatory and environmental protection issues for the city."

Besides, Rahm Emanuel's kids aren't old enough to be appointed to anything yet.

Board Shorts
"Members of the Cable Commission, who made $20,000 annually, will now get a token $1 a year for their service, the mayor's office told the Tribune on Tuesday."

Also, no more free Cinemax.


"The same goes for members of the Board of Local Improvements, who met once last year and walked away with pay ranging between $19,000 and $23,000."

Which would be worth it only if it was the Board of Improving Your Local.

Being Boeing
"Despite a $560,000 cutback in lobbying expenditures since last year, Boeing Co. still spent more by far than any other Chicago-area company to influence the nation's capital during the second quarter," Crain's reports.

"The aerospace giant paid $4.4 million to lobby Congress and the Obama administration between April and June, down 11.3% from the year-earlier period, when the company was vying for a multibillion-dollar Air Force tanker contract it finally won in February."

Maybe they should have just hired Jennifer Burke for $117,043.

More Running Business Like A Government
"Publicly traded companies make a big deal out of efficiency, which typically implies watching every penny and avoiding unnecessary costs. So what to make of the separation agreement that United Continental Holdings (UAL) filed on Tuesday?" asks.

"[I]n the separation agreement the company filed for former Chief Information Officer R. Keith Halbert (also referred to in other documents as Keith R. Halbert), who left as of April 30, the company acknowledges promising him money and benefits that it apparently didn't have to."


War Against The Drug War
"Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle, who boldly declared last month that the war on drugs has failed, said she's talked with Chicago's new police Supt. Garry McCarthy about halting arrests for low-level drug possession offenses," the Sun-Times reports.

"It's pretty well known within the criminal justice system that the judges will dismiss those charges [involving] very modest amounts of illicit drugs," she said.

Especially the judges who are holding.

Truth Deficit
"White House senior adviser David Plouffe, President Obama's 2008 campaign manager, told me Tuesday the administration was not blindsided by the Republicans linking deep spending cuts to a deal to raise the debt ceiling," Lynn Sweet reports for the Sun-Times.

"Plouffe said the Obama team had seen the linkage coming and did not object - because the president had long been interested in reducing the deficit."

I'm not sure which is worse - this being true or this being bullshit.

"It's been clear, really, for the whole year, that the debt limit was going to be something that there was going to be a lot of focus on."

Really? One of these is on the way.

Parking Pox
"Just over four years after Chicago's Department of Revenue announced its groundbreaking pay-by-phone, in-car parking meter program to great fanfare, glowing reviews and overwhelming positive user response, the plug was finally pulled on the ParkMagic Chicago pilot program just over two weeks ago," the Expired Meter reports.

"[A] funny thing happened on the way to rolling out the program citywide and making it available to all drivers - Chicago's infamous parking meter lease deal got in the way."

The parking meter lease deal: The gift that keeps on taking.

Mayor Daley Night
It's coming to the South Side.

Carl's Cubs Mailbag
Pretzels and Mustaches.

Uncle Fatty's Still Lame
"With Amy Winehouse's tragic death this past weekend, she joins an unfortunate group of talented musicians who died at age 27," Uncle Fatty's Rum Resort in Lakeview says in a press release sent out Thursday. "To celebrate the lives and music of these artists, Uncle Fatty's rum resort will host a one of a kind night filled with rock and roll's greatest to jump-start Lollapalooza weekend.

"On Friday, August 5th the tropical-themed venue known for great live music and over-the-top events will be transformed into a rock groupie's paradise to pay homage to the artists of the 27 club. A musical tribute of Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Amy Winehouse's greatest hits will play throughout the night, commemorating these iconic singers with their 27 and in Heaven event . . .

"Lollapalooza attendees can bring in their ticket stub for a special discount and keep the evening going by enjoying $7 Rehab bombs, a concoction made with Monster's tea and lemonade Rehab energy drink and vodka."

Uncle Fatty's, you are Today's Worst Rum Resort in Chicago.

See also: Uncle Fatty's Cancels 'Bin Laden Is Rot'n Party


The Beachwood Tip Line: Phone home.


Posted on July 28, 2011

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!