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The [Thursday] Papers

"Sneed hears the bottom half of a man's body found in Arlington Heights on April 16, and the top half of a man's body found last week in Lions Woods Forest Preserve near Des Plaines might be the same person."

Or it might not!

* * *

The first stop on the Tribune's "not-the-usual-suspects Chicago tour"?

The Green Mill.

I'll just meet you at the Sears Tower after stopping at Wrigley Field.

* * *

"After some really awesome investigating this afternoon, many of the stolen weapons were recovered, along with many other items that were stolen out of the gun range," Harvey spokeswoman Sandra Alvarado said.

How awesome?

"Alvarado could not say where the guns were recovered - or if anyone has been arrested. Or how many guns are still missing."

* * *

"Stroger made 6 top hires since election loss."

It would've been cheaper to just re-elect him.

* * *

"Radisson Blu to Open First Hotel in the U.S. in Chicago."

They not only save millions in typography costs by not using the "e," but they can charge $50 more a night because yuppies sleep better at night in hotels whose names aren't spelled properly.

* * *

"Palin spoke in a black leather jacket and mini-skirt with her brunette hair hanging down."

Nobody ever reports on the type of skirts Barack Obama wears.


Note: "mini-skirt" has now been edited to simply "skirt," as it also appeared in at least some print editions. Further discussion here.

* * *

"This is how the media does it," Mayor Daley complained. "'Jogger Stabbed in Riverwalk' . . . 'Iowa Man Stabbed in Chicago Visiting.' How 'bout the same headlines? I want the same headlines from you. Why not? Be fair."

Okay: "Iowa doc stabs self visiting Chicago."

- Scott Buckner

* * *

"Chicago aldermen who long resisted the notion of anyone looking over their shoulders voted Wednesday to create a City Council watchdog - but the new investigator wouldn't be able to make a move without first asking for permission.

"Investigations would require approval of the little-known Chicago Board of Ethics, which in 23 years hasn't found a single case of wrongdoing by aldermen. During that period, more than 20 City Council members were convicted of felonies."

Stop it, you're killing me!

* * *

"What's wrong with somebody making a complaint swearing that it's true?" Ald. Ed Burke said.

Burke later refused to swear that he actually said that.

* * *

Don't tell Tom Ricketts. Cubs uniforms aren't museums, you know.

* * *

"In an earlier e-mail to Pioneer Press, [Highland Park] school district assistant superintendent Sue Hebson said the decision is not a political statement, but rather for the safety of students."

Meanwhile, an Arizona high school canceled a trip to Chicago out of safety concerns because police here don't ask Mexicans to show their papers.

* * *

"School officials said the Arizona immigration law that requires police to check the immigration status of suspects was not 'aligned with our beliefs and values.'"

Meanwhile, an Arizona high school canceled a trip to Chicago because the city's tolerance of police torture and political corruption was not "aligned with our beliefs and values."

* * *

"A retired Chicago police detective who will testify in the trial of fired Chicago Police Cmdr. Jon Burge had some critical words for prosecutors moments after leaving a federal courtroom today.

"'This is wrong,' said former Area 2 Detective Michael McDermott, after being given immunity to testify in Burge's upcoming trial. 'This is wrong what they're doing, to conduct an investigation 25 years later.'"

McDermott also called on the Chicago Police Department to shut down its cold case unit.

* * *

"Giannoulias said that during GOP opponent Mark Kirk's time in Congress, 'We went from record budget surpluses to doubling the national debt by going into two wars we didn't need.'"

And by that he meant the Iraq war and the war over funding the Afghanistan war.

Alexi G finally ready for prime time.

* * *

"Palin said the school is still sponsoring a trip to China."

It's a working trip; China called in a loan.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Suck it, Leno.


Posted on May 13, 2010

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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