Chicago - Sep. 21, 2017
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
ElRey
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (tvguide.com)
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA
This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History
Chicago
Indicted!
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Rats
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)
Beyond
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps
Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List
Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll
Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (louisehay.com)
Ellie
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law
Letters to the Editors
FAQ
About
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
RSS
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising
 

The [Thursday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

1. "I have a great idea that I plan to share with my readers at the proper time regarding the violence in and around Chicago Public Schools that has been all over the news," Stella Foster writes this morning.

The proper time being:

A) After three more kids are killed
B) After I type up the rest of these press releases
C) Once I find out if the union conceded my job

*

Speculation on Stella's solution:

- Rent out a barn and put on a fashion show

- Deploy the National Guard and their new fancy stinkbombs

- Start awarding gold stars for good behavior

- Give those kids a good talking to

- Make all kids sent to juvy read her column every day

2. The education reform merry-go-round.

3. The best education reform idea out there is a good job at a good wage for every parent who wants one. That also happens to be the best crime-fighting strategy.

4. Attorney General Eric Holder says Derrion Albert's death is "a wake-up call."

Really? Was Holder sleeping?

5. Please, no more calls for "national conversations." The nation converses each and every day. Mostly about pols who are all talk, no action.

6. You can't have a dialogue when the participants aren't honest.

7. "The council's got to start rolling up its sleeves and doing the work it was elected to do," says Ald. Bob Fioretti.

Oh really? It's finally time to start?

*

And what's your first order of business, Bob?

8. Asked and answered - unanimously approving the mayor's appointment of another schlub.

*

Fioretti: Okay, now we have to roll up our sleeves and get to work!

9. "Tired of Talk: LBGTs Want Action."

Get in line. And bring plenty of change for the meter and something to read.

10. The Obama administration refuses stimulus contract transparency.

11. "Some states are bending the rules that govern the use of the education stimulus dollars, according to a report released last week by the Department of Education's inspector general," ProPublica reports. "The report, which carried the deceptively bland title 'Potential Consequences of the Maintenance of Effort Requirements under the ARRA Fiscal Stabilization Fund,' found that some states are using the program to reduce their own funding for public education."

12. "It was the most expensive campaign in Chicago history - $3.3 million per vote."

13. "The just-launched DataSF.org will make public all kinds of government data, everything from crime statistics to restaurant inspections and street fixes," the San Francisco Examiner reports. "The City is challenging technology-savvy folks in town to create applications based upon that data - such as a detailed, easy-to-read crime map - so residents can more readily be kept informed."

Sheesh. And we can't even find out who hired Angelo Torres . . .

14. Todd Stroger Wants To Direct. A horror show in the making.

15. Trib sues U of I. Wants clout names.

16. Roland Keeps Rolling. Continues to play make-believe.

17. The Return of Jim Ryan? Please don't.

18. The Statler Brothers were neither named Statler nor brothers. Discuss.

19. Doing David Letterman. A video montage.

20. The bankrupt Tribune Company wants to pay select executives bonuses equaling almost three times what Jim Tyree is paying for the Sun-Times Media Group. In Valuing the Sun-Times.

*

The mystery bidder who didn't get his shit together in time, by the way, was Yusef Jackson.

21. Beachwood Sports:

* Have you seen my crack pipe? In Over/Under.

* Free Blount. In The College Football Report.

* Dis and Dat, Dem and Dose. By George Ofman.

* Right about Knox, right about Mendenhall. In Fantasy Fix.

* And The World Series Champ Is . . .

* And The World Series Storyline Is . . .

22. Daley reacts to Olympic loss.

-

The Beachwood Tip Line: Cool for cats.



Permalink

Posted on October 8, 2009


MUSIC - The Weekend In Chicago Rock Including Riot Fest Highlights.
TV - The Digital Divide.
POLITICS - Rhymefest vs. Obama.
SPORTS - Tales Of The Turtles.

BOOKS - How Comics Captured Vietnam.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - 100-Year-Old Petrified Uniformities Of The Modern Art World vs. The Moral Grandeur Of Majestic Impressionism.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Email:

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter



Beachwood Radio!


Ask Me Anything!