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The [Thanksgiving 2018] Papers

Everything about this holiday is a lie.

1. Tryptophan Is Bullshit.


2. Dark Meat Is Way, Way Better Than White Meat.

It tastes way better and its richer in nutrients - especially when you consider that sugar, not fat, is the real killer in our diets.


3. The Pilgrims Sucked.

Like a lot of things we should all know by now - evolution, Pizzagate, the Earth isn't flat - the Thanksgiving story is a particularly vicious lie.


4. Black Friday Is A Scam.

"An analysis of this year's Black Friday deals by The Wall Street Journal and price-data firm Decide Inc. found that many of the bargains advertised as 'doorbusters' were available at lower prices at other times of the year."


5. The Airport Won't Be Crowded On Sunday.

But reporters who merely propagate the cliched narratives of their editors' will tell you otherwise. That's not me.


Speaking of Thanksgiving travel, this is interesting to know but who really flies with a turkey?


Speaking of turkey, yours is almost certainly contaminated with salmonella.


Yeah, here's the thing about Barack Obama "crashing" the Chicago Food Depository: Food banks and soup kitchens don't need volunteers on Thanksgiving - they are overwhelmed with folks seeking to do a good dead for the holiday. They need help the rest of the year - perhaps with a Community Benefits Agreement.


For some reason dinner is at 2:30 on Thanksgiving.


The Beachwood McRibTipLine: Dark meat.


Posted on November 21, 2018

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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