The [Monday] Papers
"Anyone who was surprised by North Carolina and UCLA's demise Saturday hasn't been paying close enough attention," writes our very own Jim Coffman in SportsMonday. "Memphis simply has more talent than any other team in this year's tournament (and that will usually do the trick if the coach can avoid screwing it up)."
* Uncle Lou doesn't have to explain his lineups to anyone. Now go get him another Falstaff.
"Moore is now soliciting bids for a $25,000 customer service consultant, but all applicants must have at least 18 years' experience working with his office."
So if you have 17 years and 11 months in the office, forget about it. You're not the person the job description was written for.
Stroger already spends more than $1 million in taxpayer money on a PR staff of 15. What, do they each say "no comment" in a different language?
"Stroger spokeswoman Ibis Antongiorgi wouldn't say what Stroger plans to spend on the consultant, or where the money will come from."
That's why they need a consultant; to figure out where the money will come from and how it will be spent. This is meta-government at its best.
The Daley Show
This concludes today's lesson in Corrupting Reform 101.
Save Swallow Cliff!
"Mahoney and a group of residents will board a bus about 8 a.m. outside the Palos Park Village Hall, 8901 W. 123rd St., for the trip to downtown Chicago.
"'I'm told [the public] isn't allowed to speak during the meeting,' he said. 'I'm hoping they extend me a professional courtesy.'"
You're going about it all wrong, Mayor Mahoney. What you need to do is offer yourself as a consultant who will improve the image of the forest preserve by larding up the toboggan slides with patronage hires, like Sled Supervisors, Assistant Sled Pushers, and Flying Saucer Specialists.
Now, he despises Carter so much he advises Barack Obama to go nowhere near him even if an endorsement is offered.
You know, Barack Obama, the smart, dynamic breath of fresh air.
Remember how Carter was the candidate of hope and change? In 1976, he was known for his smile. Not so much by 1980.
Carter, by the way, was a rising star in the Navy who was selected by Hyman Rickover to serve on a nuclear sub. He was also a Korean War veteran. He served two terms in the Georgia state senate, ran an agriculture business, and was elected governor in 1970, where he implemented a reform agenda. In 1974, he served as chairman of the Democratic National Committee's congressional and gubernatorial compaigns.
In his 1976 presidential campaign, he railed against Washington D.C.'s corruption and special interests, and promised to unite the nation.
There are several lessons to consider here; I'll leave it up to you to find them.
P.S.: This was my response to a reader who reacted favorably to this item:
I guess I wanted to say, hey, let's not get fooled by the caricatures of these candidates. Jimmy Carter was portrayed as this down-home, humble smiley guy, but he was a Naval submarine star and a Korean War veteran and a very ambitious politician with far more experience than Obama who ended up kind of crumbling under the burdens of the office.
And a President Obama might turn out to be great, but let's not just get caught up in hope and change like he's the first guy to say those words. Sheesh.
Indiana Wants Me
"Queried about his absence in an NBC News interview Friday night, Obama responded that he chose to campaign in Indiana, where he said King's pleas have yet to be answered fully."
A) As opposed to Tennessee, where everything is peachy.
A Beachwood Reader Comments: Not insulting Roy Scheider, but Spielberg blew it. Just think about this line "Get your stinkin' teeth off me, you damned dirty shark!"
Beachwood Reader Paul Clark Responds: Scheider never got bit by the shark, so Heston, if he had the role, wouldn't have been able to say it. He would have, however, been able to part the waters of the bay, leaving the shark floundering on the bay floor, and then Heston could have driven his chariot over the floundering body.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Rock us gently.
Posted on April 7, 2008
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