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The [Monday] Papers

1. The Mount Lou Alert System is now on yellow. Heightened concern is warranted. Pressure is expected to build throughout the week with an eruption by Saturday.

2. I'll admit I was wrong about Ted Lilly and Jason Marquis when Jim Hendry admits he was wrong about the outfield and infield.

3. "Team scouts believe Soriano could smoothly make the transition from left field to center field and be an upgrade defensively over the weak-armed Juan Pierre," the Sun-Times reported last November.

The same scouts who didn't believe in Ryan Theriot.

4. So maybe, um, fire the scouts?

5. Sun-Times front page on Saturday: "Honors Student Slain On CTA Bus."

Would it be less tragic if the victim was a C student? Or how about "Failing Student Slain On CTA Bus"?

Why not just "Heroic Student Slain On CTA Bus"? Or "Chicago Student Slain On CTA Bus"?

It reminds me of the Tribune years ago lamenting in its report on the Lincoln Park porch collapse that the victims were so full of promise. What, it was more tragic because some of those killed had careers ahead of them as corporate lawyers and stockbrokers?

6. The American flag is back on the Sun-Times cover. In case you didn't know what country you were in.

7. It should come with an apology for the paper's ginned-up war coverage - as anti-patriotic as journalism can get.

8. Tribune public editor Tim McNulty writes that mainstream media is "still keeping watch." Yes. On its 401(k)s and early retirement offers.

9. Contrary to reporters at the dailies, the Reader's Ben Joravsky couldn't find a single person in Washington Park who wants the Olympics to come there.

10. Joravsky also tells how city workers made the park glisten for an Olympic committee visit after, oh, probably years of neglect. Bet they haven't been back.

11. Too drunk to drive home? Naperville has a new solution.

12. How to protect your Elvis sighting.

13. "Democratic White House hopeful Sen. Barack Obama was pressed on why, when he was running for the Senate in 2003, he opposed extra funding for the Iraq war, yet voted for supplemental spending bills bankrolling the war once in office, in an interview broadcast Sunday," Lynn Sweet reports.

"Obama also declined on ABC's This Week with George Stephanopoulos to say what he would do if confronted with a war-funding measure that did not include a timeline for withdrawal."

14. "Obama told Stephanopoulos it was 'political suicide' for him to be against the Iraq war in 2003," Sweet reports.

Well, obviously not.

The real question is, where has he been since then?

15. "Obama said while running for the Senate that he would not, if in the Senate, vote for an $87 billion supplemental appropriation to bankroll the war and Iraqi reconstruction," Sweet writes. "Once in the Senate, Obama voted for all of the Iraq war funding bills.

"Obama told Stephanopoulos he opposed the $87 billion because 'I was trying to establish a principle at that time,' and the $87 billion legislation included wasteful spending."

Apparently Obama had no need to "establish a principle" - whatever that means - once he got into the Senate. And apparently the war funding bills he voted for contained no wasteful spending whatsoever.

16. I guess a vote is never really a vote for Obama; it's always something else. Like when he explained his vote for George W. Bush's 700-mile fence on the Mexican border by saying it was "part of a larger strategy."

One he has yet to reveal, but I'm sure he will in time. Maybe he was just establishing a principle.

17. Hockeytown, USA. Listen to the audio all the way through and you'll hear why.

18. Romney For President!

"While some evangelical Christians are defending the presidential candidacy of Mormon Mitt Romney from an attack by Al Sharpton, another prominent pastor is going further in his condemnation - saying a vote for the former Massachusetts governor is a vote for Satan," WorldNetDaily reports.

"That's the word from Bill Keller, host of the Florida-based Live Prayer TV program as well as

"'If you vote for Mitt Romney, you are voting for Satan!' he writes in his daily devotional to be sent out to 2.4 million e-mail subscribers."

19. A complex algorithm devised at Beachwood HQ has determined that this will be America's last newspaper subscriber.

20. "Daley was Cook County state's attorney from 1981 to 1989, when the bulk of the torture took place," the Reader's John Conroy writes. "He was in a position to investigate and didn't, setting an example his successors in the office have followed to the present day. No one knows how many were tortured, but more than 100 likely victims have been identified, and some are still behind bars on the basis of those suspect confessions."

21. "The mayor would have the public believe that he's already been grilled on the subject."

To the contrary.

22. Heard Joe Scarborough say the other night that American Idol has jumped the shark. Got me wondering: When did the phrase "jump the shark" jump the shark?

23. "Most wives not only leap to tell their husband what to do, but how to do it, when to do it, and the efficient way to clean up after it's done," writes Neil Steinberg (second item), channeling the 1950s again.

24. "Phil Spector tries to dodge the paparazzi by cleverly disguising himself as Sandy Duncan."

- Paige Wiser

25. "City May Borrow $1 Bil. For O'Hare: Would Pay For New Runway, Refinancing, Temporary Stadium."

Well, the headline writer ran out of room and couldn't fit the stadium part in there, but still.

The Beachwood Tip Line: Trecia was here.


Posted on May 14, 2007

MUSIC - Lyric Opera Strike Settled.
POLITICS - USA Today's Op-Ed Disaster.
SPORTS - SportsMonday: Come On, Vic!

BOOKS - Chicago Book Haul: The Dial.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Chicagoetry: West Town Blues.

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