Chicago - Sep. 13, 2019

Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
ElRey
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (tvguide.com)

Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12

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K-Tel Classics
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Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.

Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.

Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39

Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (louisehay.com)

Ellie
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.

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Psychodrama/Marshall Law

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The [Monday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

Man, there's a lot of great stuff on the site today. I wrote, assembled or edited all of it (as always), so that's why it's too late in the day for a column. Read these offerings instead:

Chicagoetry: Night Jets
This highway is like a molten river.

Someone Please Have Sex With This Woman
She's begging you.

Facts Are No Longer Newsworthy
Only opinion and reaction.

The Weekend In Chicago Rock
Featuring: MELK, Katie Got Bandz, Material Reissue, Built To Spill, Dead Kennedys, Jeezy, Lil Durk, M. Ward, Tedeschi Trucks Band, Jonathan Coulton, The Lumineers, Caravan Palace, She Wants Revenge, Birdy, Migos, Langhorne Slim, Eddie Vedder & Theo Epstein, Paul Simon, and Liz Phair.

From the Beachwood Sports Desk . . .

Breakfast In America: Know Your Terminology
For example: Much of Illinois' politics is run from the Back Room.

The Cub Factor: The L
He shall be so nicknamed.

The White Sox Report: Circus Trip
Put a tent on it.

SportsMonday: One Epic Losing Streak Left
The trend is clear.

BeachBook

Rays' Orlando Pride Night Is Most Attended Game In 10 Years.

The incredibly moving story of Orlando shooting victim Cory Connell, was related to our site designer, Cate Nolan, and separately but unknowingly, a neighborhood pal of our contributor M.L. Van Valkenburgh.

TweetWood
A sampling.

There's nothing wrong with still asking Bruce Rauner about clouting his daughter into Payton, seeing as how the CPS IG found he was lying.
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 20, 2016

New from Supertramp: Brexit in America.
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) June 20, 2016

After Nebraska ended the death penalty, @GovRicketts waged war against abolitionists. Who is he trying to punish? https://t.co/1x1jTjVM7A
— The Intercept (@theintercept) June 20, 2016