Chicago - Mar. 19, 2022
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA
This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps
Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List
Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll
Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law
Letters to the Editors
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising

The [Monday] Papers

"Marathon security lines over the weekend stranded dozens of people overnight at O'Hare International Airport because of missed flights, as a TSA staffing shortage continues to plague travelers nationwide, airline officials said," the Tribune (and others) reports.

Transportation Security Administration lines were more than two hours long Sunday, causing 450 people to miss their flights, according to American Airlines spokeswoman Leslie Scott. Stranded passengers who couldn't get on a later flight slept on cots at the American terminal.

The lines are being blamed on insufficient TSA staffing due to strengthened security measures, a higher-than-anticipated increase in air traffic and incorrect guesses about how many people would sign up for expedited screening. The situation has been accelerating for months - and is expected to get worse heading into the busy summer travel season.

Midway is no picnic, either.


"The U.S. Department of Homeland Security will immediately increase the use of overtime and work to quickly bring in more screening officers to help alleviate long lines at airport security checkpoints, Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson said Friday," CNN reports.

"But Johnson warned that longer wait times are inevitable during the busy summer travel season."


Not one to let a good crisis go to waste, methinks there are business opportunities to exploit here.

-> How about food trucks - okay, carts - in that part of the concourse? Who standing in line wouldn't want elotes?

-> Stand-In Inc. We stand in line so you don't have to.

-> Uber for airplanes: Long-distance road trips that get you there before flying, because flying has become the slowest way to get anywhere.

-> A better version of the TSA's wait-time app, because obviously anyone could make a better version - and sell it for 99 cents in iTunes.

-> Airport Tinder. A new way to meet that cutie over by dere.


"Airport security is a special kind of hell, and anyone who goes through it regularly knows it," ZDNet notes. Here's why.


"The Transportation Security Administration is warning some travelers that they should show up three hours before their scheduled flights," WKOW-TV in Madison reports. (So "W-Cow?")

"This weekend people who were flying out of O'Hare and Midway say lines were out of control, hundreds of people deep. And that isn't just the story in Chicago, but in lots of airports all across the country."

Three hours? So the actual flight will be shortest (and most comfortable!) part of your trip.


Syria's Stateless Children
Kids who don't count.

Chicago Book Expo Featuring Kenny Loggins
This is it.

White Sox Lose The Plot
Time to worry?

Polar Soler
George Sun sets.

Studebaker Is Back
The building, not the car.

Ban Beanball
Game doesn't need this garbage.

The Weekend In Chicago Rock
Featuring: Replicant, Gary Numan, No Ritual, Snarky Puppy, Har Mar Superstar, Lincoln Durham, Babymetal, The Brian Jonestown Massacre, The Scissors, White Reaper, Mavis Staples, Youth Code, DevilDriver, Hard Working Americans, Allen Stone, Luther Dickinson, and the Punch Brothers.


A sampling.





The Beachwood Tip Line: Branding iron.


Posted on May 16, 2016

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!