The [Monday] Papers

I'm off to the Genius Bar for urgent MacBook repairs, so I'll just have to leave you with these fine offerings.

The Beachwood Super Bowl Halftime Prop Bet Results Are In!
We all lost.

What I Watched Last Night: The Commercial Bowl
We're basically reduced to an audience of eleventy billion people waiting to see if Snickers' ad agency can top last year's spot.

Riding The Dog, Part 2: Celebrating Incessant Monotony Since 1961
A pancake-flat stretch of the North American continent so uninteresting that even the universe lost interest in the place when it was creating the planet and figuring out where to stick neat stuff like hills and mountains.

The Weekend In Chicago Rock
Featuring: Walrus Attack!, Wet, Reign, Royal Bliss, Big Head Todd and the Monsters, Intocable, The Crombies, Me Like Bees, Jule Vera, Waterparks, Rachel Drew and the Bitter Roots, Peach Farmer, Mikey Classic & His Lonesome Spur, and Davey Dynamite.

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BeachBook

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TweetWood

Next year's #SuperBowl will be sponsored by the #Chicago Police Department, so there won't be any audio.

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) February 8, 2016

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2008 article by @rtraister on the Barack Bros motivated by sexism in opposing Hillary https://t.co/DeQVVoZZZT pic.twitter.com/jGFmoW0GPI

— Glenn Greenwald (@ggreenwald) February 8, 2016

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Here's writer Annie Lowrey last month on the sources of abuse that led her to quit Twitter https://t.co/lHeOnNY0Q7 pic.twitter.com/uuQvCoHb7D

— Glenn Greenwald (@ggreenwald) February 8, 2016

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I was wrong! Very impressive denver victory. Great for peyton manning and his family. Good for jeb bush who peyton supports

— Newt Gingrich (@newtgingrich) February 8, 2016

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Peyton Manning loves Jeb Bush, donated the maximum legal amount to his campaign: https://t.co/LTXDWHzQBt

— Micah Uetricht (@micahuetricht) February 8, 2016

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Rex Manning > Peyton Manning.

— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) February 8, 2016

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if she was really fierce, would she have 2 bend 2 a crotch-hugging leotard?! one step backwards. as always. #Beyoncé pic.twitter.com/ockl1pVY6e

— helene smith (@helene_smith) February 8, 2016

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The Beachwood Tip Line: We have the antidope.

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