Chicago - Mar. 19, 2022
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA
This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps
Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List
Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll
Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law
Letters to the Editors
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising

The [Monday] Papers

So Rahm Emanuel was booed quite lustily at the Blackhawks rally last Thursday.

This video doesn't do it justice, according to people who were there.

I had this e-mail exchange with our very own Tim Willette after the event:

Steve: I heard about that. All I could wonder was, how the hell did he get re-elected then?

A) A bunch were suburbanites
B) A bunch didn't vote
C) Even his own voters loathe him

Tim: All of the above.


It's really quite remarkable how unliked this guy is - and he just got re-elected!

Of course, he should be used to it by now. He's the sort of person who has probably never been liked his whole life - and has never thought to wonder why.


Our very own Natasha Julius also weighed in on the strange parade route:

"So I teach at Michigan and Monroe and I've been trying to figure out why the parade is going down Monroe, which is a really narrow street. Then I remembered, it's because both Washington and Madison are dug up with the Loop BRT construction - construction that is more than a year overdue. I'm not saying this is something CDOT could've planned for, I'm just saying, if the Loop BRT had happened on schedule this wouldn't be a problem. Also, should've routed the parade further west since you're not using Grant Park for the rally anyway."

The whole thing was horked. But whatever. Moving on . . .

The David Vitale Show
"This month's scramble by Chicago school officials to find enough cash to pay the bills is the result of "an appalling situation" years in the making - a cascading financial crisis that could hit classrooms this fall when nearly 400,000 kids return to school," the Tribune reports.

"Potentially worsening the situation are unexpected bank penalty payments, the costly legacy of a series of complex financial deals masterminded by school board President David Vitale. Those deals fell apart earlier this year as the district's credit deteriorated, meaning CPS could be forced to pay $228 million if the banks demand their money. The district has set aside only $174 million to cover such costs."

We are now in Year 5 of Rahm Emanuel's mayoralty. He wears the jacket now - especially given that Vitale is his hand-picked chairman of the school board and his two picks (so far) for CPS CEO have been Jean-Claude Brizard, whom he fired, and Barbara Byrd-Bennett, who resigned amidst a federal investigation. Rahm also instigated a teachers' strike and oversaw the largest mass school closing in U.S. history. Destabilize the system much?


"The deals date back to the early 2000s, when Vitale - who will lead the board as it responds to the current financial crisis - began advising the school district on its borrowing strategy, first as chief administrative officer and then as chief operating officer.

"At the encouragement of Vitale, a former vice chairman and director of Bank One Corp., the district paired the swaps with floating-rate bonds in an attempt to borrow at cheaper rates than traditional fixed-rate debt would allow."



Vitale still has his job, which just goes to show the system for evaluating teachers is much tougher than the one that evaluates administrators.

Obama's America
"[Jeffrey] Sterling's battle against the government had begun more than 15 years earlier, when he was still at the CIA. After he lodged a racial discrimination complaint, he was fired by the agency and filed two federal lawsuits against it, one for retaliation and discrimination, another for obstructing the publication of his autobiography. He also spoke as a whistleblower to Congress. Soon, his savings ran out and he became all but homeless, driving around the country, lost in despair," the Intercept reports.

"Until Barack Obama was elected president, the Department of Justice rarely prosecuted leakers. Obama promised, as a candidate, to create the most transparent administration ever, but he has presided over more leak prosecutions under the Espionage Act than all previous administrations combined. Dennis Blair, the director of national intelligence during Obama's first term, told the Times that a decision was made in 2009 to 'hang an admiral once in a while,' as Blair put it, to show would-be leakers they should not talk to the press. The Justice Department did not charge high-level officials, however; mid-level officials were the principal targets, and it appears that Sterling's all-but-shut case was brought back to life as part of the crackdown."

Emphasis mine, because who but Obama himself made that decision? Not a fan of the passive construction. Just say it.


The Bush administration had set aside the Sterling case. Obama did this to him.


See also: Google Reveals It Was Forced By Obama DOJ To Hand Over Journalist's Data For Wikileaks Grand Jury.

Mumford & Bums
"Advocates say a delayed outdoor rock concert in Chicago's Uptown neighborhood has created uncertainty about if and when a homeless encampment can return to the area," WBEZ reports.

"For months now, a line of nearly 20 tents in orange and blue have lined both sides of Wilson Avenue under the Lake Shore Drive bridge. That's where about 40 homeless people have been living and had formed a makeshift community. There was a similar encampment under the Lawrence Avenue viaduct. Each person or family had an unofficial space, surrounding their tents with belongings including wheeled carts, camping chairs and even a full-sized grill that some of the men took turns cooking on.

"But all of that changed earlier this week in advance of a Mumford and Sons concert that [drew] thousands to nearby Montrose Beach. Originally scheduled for Wednesday, the concert was postponed until Friday.

"On Tuesday, city workers ordered the homeless people to leave so they could clean the area. The workers also threw away many of the people's belongings, including blankets and clothing, in what advocates call a violation of city policy."

A) Use of the word "bums" in the heading is not meant to offend; I realize it might. I thought twice about using it. Three times, even. I think we can all take it in the spirit with which it is given.

B) Why can't the tents be a part of the short-term solution? Let those tents be homes for the people who need them until this country pulls its head out of its ass and finds its humanity.

C) Apparently the concert was so loud - and Mumfordy awful - that the entire North Side was in pain. Also, it appears to have been really poorly run.

There's far funnier commentary, but you'll have to seek the rest out on your own. Just put "Mumford" into Twitter, open a bag of chips and have yourself a ball.

Fuck The Confederacy
The real courage was shown by Union soldiers.

Read The Fucking Torture Report, People
Look in the mirror, America.

The Cub Factor
Can we medicate Starlin Castro, please?

The White Sox Report
Once cliche at a time.

Lego Convention Fucking Rocks
Amazing brickwork, people.

The Weekend In Chicago Rock
Featuring: Guantanamo Baywatch, Ace Reporter, Mavis Staples, Jacco Gardner, Even The Jackals, Uh Bones, Mikal Cronin, Sweet Cobra, Reek Of Blood, Created To Kill, Against The Plagues, Putrid Pile, TON, Waco Jesus, Immortal Suffering, GutRot, Necrophagia, Asphyxiator, Disinter, Flo Rida, Mumford and Sons, and Walk The Moon.


* Why Can't Illinois Be More Like Minnesota?

* Paralyzed Professor's True-Life Nurse Blowjob Story Freaks Northwestern Out.

* Inside The Mind Of Newsweek On 'Terrorism.'

* Obama's Secret Dinner With Hollywood Moguls.







The Beachwood Tip Line: Spot on, spout off.


Posted on June 22, 2015

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!