Chicago - Sep. 13, 2019

Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
ElRey
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (tvguide.com)

Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12

Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA

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Indicted!
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Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)

Beyond
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
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Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.

Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.

Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39

Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (louisehay.com)

Ellie
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.

Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law

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The [Monday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

Just glance at the SHOW NOTES and tell me you don't want to listen to The Beachwood Radio Hour #31: Raunocchio-Elect. Analysis, wit and insight you won't get anywhere else.

Segments include: Phony Bruce, Quinn's Rose Garden, Late & Never, Journesia, and The Combine Transitions. Plus: They came to watch Nik Wallenda live, not die.

SportsMonday: The Meatballs Were Right
And they've been right all along.

See also @BeachwoodReport for the Bears tweets that won the Internet last night. And if you missed our very own Jim "Coach" Coffman talking Bears on WBEZ's Morning Shift, we'll add the audio to SportsMonday when it becomes available.

The College Football Report Top Ten
From Haters To Infinity.

Bears Make Book
"It was four minutes into the third quarter when Aaron Rodgers was gunning for his seventh touchdown pass. Not only were the Chicago Bears getting blown out, but bookmakers were taking a beating, too," Matt Youmans writes for the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

"The big difference is the bookmakers have had a winning season, so one losing week is just part of doing business. The Bears have been losers all season, and they are stuck with their overpaid loser of a quarterback and their dreadful defense."

The Weekend In Chicago Rock
Featuring: Metalucifer, Jaill, Gerald Dowd, Bone Thugs-n-Harmony, Starset, and Garland Jeffreys.

BeachBook
* Uber And Its Shady Partners Are Pushing Drivers Into Subprime Loans.

* Local TV News Continues To Be Inane.

* Dartmouth Bro From Chicago Elected To Public Office In Frat Prank.

TweetWood
A non-Bears sampling.

President Obama: "For the first time in nine years, there are no Americans fighting in Iraq."
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) May 5, 2012

President Obama: "I said I would end the war in Iraq, and I did." #PromiseKept
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) October 17, 2012

President Obama on Romney: "Just a few weeks ago, you said you think we should have more troops in Iraq right now." #RomneyWrong
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) October 23, 2012