Chicago - Apr. 3, 2020

Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
ElRey
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (tvguide.com)

Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12

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Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.

Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.

Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39

Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (louisehay.com)

Ellie
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.

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Psychodrama/Marshall Law

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The [Monday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

I'll be ignoring the Tribune until I figure out how to read their new website.

The Weekend In Chicago Rock
I wasn't at Lollapalooza, but of the video I rummaged through, my favorite act of the weekend was Warpaint - followed quite closely by Meg Myers.

We've got those folks and 46 others today. Take yourself on a musical journey.

The Beachwood Radio Hour
In this episode: Ald. Patrick J. O'Connor, God's Special Creature. Lollapaloozers. The Political Odds. Derrick Rose Is A Saboteur. The Cub Factor. Junkies In Narcissistic Denial. Crime Is Down. Weekend Classifieds.

The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour
In this episode: Derrick Rose Is A Saboteur. Drinking The Bears' Bourbon. Baseball Blockbusters.

BeachBook
* United Airlines HQ Hit By Bedbugs.

But can they figure out how to charge them for extra baggage?

* These Lollapalooza Patrons Find Shelter In A Port-A-Potty.

Introducing Poohber: Port-A-Potties for the sharing economy. A joint venture with Airpeenpee.

* Audit Indicates Irregularities In Atlanta Airport Parking Contract.

Terms ridiculously favorable to Chicago-based Standard Parking.

* Chicago Coin Deluxe World Series.

1974 edition.

* Evanston Public Library Bans My Book Talk On Palestine.

TweetWood

Sharknado 3 to star Rahm Emanuel, but not clear yet whether he'll be the shark or the nado.
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) August 4, 2014

Rahm orders desk cops to streets. "Fucking staple the hell out of them, I dunno!"
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) August 4, 2014

BREAKING: Rahm orders actual desks to the streets to fight crime. "Go get in the way, you motherfuckers!"
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) August 4, 2014

A Chicago High School played Bieber's "Baby" between classes and had students pay to stop it. The campaign raised $1,000 in 3 days.
— Celebrity Facts (@RealCelebFact) August 3, 2014

RTA exec forced to resign now working for Dallas rapid transit: http://t.co/WfONcFGqGE | #chicago
— Beachwood Reporter (@BeachwoodReport) August 3, 2014