Chicago - Oct. 15, 2021
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
Must-See TV
Army Of Darkness
5 p.m.
A discount-store employee is time-warped to a medieval castle, where he is the foretold savior who can dispel the evil there. Unfortunately, he screws up and releases an army of skeletons. (
Weather Derby
Tribune: 51/37
Sun-Times: Ferro/McKinney
Weather Channel: 44/41
Ntl Weather Service: 54/43
BWM*: 82/12
Beachwood Bookmarks
K-Tel Classics
WKRP in Cincinnati
So You've Decided To Be Evil
St. Paul Saints
Nye's Polonaise Room
The Arcata Eye
Roadside USA
This Day In . . .
Onion History
Weird Al History
Baseball History
Beachwood History
History History
Spy Magazine History
#OnThisDate History
Under Suspicion
Find Your Towed Car
Cable TV Complaints
Freedom of Information
The Expired Meter
The Mob & Friends
Stolen Bike Registry
O'Hare Music Tracker
Report Corruption (city)
Report Corruption (state)
Scoundrels, State
Scoundrels, Federal
The Odds
Random Flight Tracker
Casting Calls
Cosmic Log
Buy Stamps
Beachwood Blogroll
A Handy List
Beachwood Ethics Statement
How We Roll
Today's Horoscope
Liberties will be taken.
Do We Sudoku?
No, but we do do moose stuff, and that can be anything you want it to be. Except Sudoku.
Losing Lottery Numbers
8, 25, 39
Daily Affirmation
I am open and receptive to new avenues of income. (
Knowing that a person may be unwittingly in danger of an assault imposes a moral duty to warn them.
Now Playing
Psychodrama/Marshall Law
Letters to the Editors
Tip Line
"The Papers" archive
Beachwood Link Buttons
Media Kit/Advertising

The [Monday] Papers

I'm off for the holiday per the Beachwood's new furlough policy, but will return on Tuesday.

In the meantime:

* Presidents Still Dancing For Furniture.

Proof through the night, that our Maverick Dual Reclining Leather Sofa was still there.

* The Political Odds.

Toi Hutchinson drops out to spend less time with her family.

* QT: Asteroids Afoot.

An atmospheric asterisk.

* Random Food Report: Griddle Melts Galore And The Pancakes Of The Future.

Plus: Hexbugs & Waffles.

* The Weekend In Chicago Rock.

You shoulda been there.

* SportsMonday: Derrick Rose Should Be Reasonable.

No hurry, but no 110 percent either.


The Weekend Desk Report
By Natasha Julius

The state of our union? Eh, could be worse.

$1,200 Mink Reversible Parka
Jesus' representative on Earth resigned for the first time since Avignon because he just wasn't feeling it anymore and that's still not the most bizarre story of the week.

$10,105 in Bruce Lee Memorabilia
More than 4,200 passengers and crew were left floating in filth while waiting for a damn tugboat and that's still not the most disgusting story of the week.

$28,500 in Undisclosed Loans and Gifts
A woman claimed to be carjacked to Schaumburg, but you know - no biggie and that's still not the shadiest story of the week.

$5,000 Football
A meteor streaked across the Russian sky, scattering debris across six municipalities and damaging a KHL ice hockey arena and that still isn't the most jaw-dropping story of the week.

$750,000 Total
No, the most outrageous, incendiary story of the week? There are apparently furriers in Beverly Hills.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!


Posted on February 18, 2013

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


Search The Beachwood Reporter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Follow BeachwoodReport on Twitter

Beachwood Radio!