The [Monday] Papers
News, views and booze.
1. All evidence points to the U.S. Attorney's Office going back to an insider. It was fun while it lasted.
Can't we just have Peter Fitzgerald make the choice again? At the very least, he deserves a spot on Durbin/Kirk selection committee.
2. "A consulting company hired by Mayor Rahm Emanuel last summer to consolidate and overhaul city contracts has already saved the city $13.3 million, City Hall contends," the Sun-Times reports.
"Instead of buying brand-name pens, for example, the city is now purchasing generic brands and private labels."
Also, city officials will now use generic brown paper bags for stealthy transactions instead of monogrammed paper bags.
In unrelated news, Staples is threatening to leave Chicago unless it gets tax breaks coincidentally equaling the money lost in the pen deal.
Yeah, maybe not that funny. Also couldn't think of punch lines for "Scientists Find Evidence Of God Particle" even though I was just talking about this; "Illinois Bans Shark Fins Sales" even though Jimmy Buffett was just in town; "Illinois Lawmakers Defeat Flood Insurance Mandate" even in light of the Supreme Court thingy; or "Michael Jordan's Son Arrested" even though it was in Omaha.
3. "Illinoisans guzzled nearly three fewer six-packs of beer in 2011, per person, than they did just five years ago," the Pantagraph reports.
Maybe we're buying more by the case these days.
4. "Prosecutors confirmed for the first time today that three NATO protesters were caught on wiretaps as they allegedly plotted to use Molotov cocktails to blow up political targets during the recent summit in Chicago," the Tribune reports.
"According to the charges, police found four Molotov cocktails inside the apartment that the defendants - who are members of an anarchist group known as 'Black Bloc' - intended to use to firebomb targets such as police stations, Mayor Rahm Emanuel's home and President Barack Obama's downtown campaign headquarters."
All with . . . four Molotov cocktails? Not bloody likely.
Elsewhere On The Beachwood
* Melville, Elvis And Baseball. Moby-Dick author saw it all coming.
* SportsMonday: The Rizzo Stretch. Umpires and narratives.
* Tom Skilling Forecasts Coldest Day In Chicago History. It happened in 1994.
* The Cub Factor: Happy Days Aren't Here Again. Theo vs. the universe.
* The Weekend In Chicago Rock. They played at a venue near you; we have the video.
* The White Sox Report: Tales Of Yankee Power. While washing A.J. out of the All-Star game.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Knick, knack, paddywhack.
Posted on July 2, 2012
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