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The [Monday] Papers

"In throwing four picks in the second half alone he displayed all the delightful deficiencies that made last season such a romp - the Grossman backpedal, the locking-in on one receiver until everyone in the stadium knew where the pass was going, and the throws to absolutely blanketed receivers who apparently should have been open (according to a petulant quarterback) if they had just run their routes well enough," our very own Jim Coffman writes in SportsMonday: Bring Me The Head of Jay Cutler.

That's about right.

Randy Resigns Ironically
On late Friday afternoon in order to draw less attention from the media outlets he used to run.


From Chicago Tonight: Week in Review, edited for clarity:

Tribune reporter Bruce Japsen: This is a corporate culture story, this is not a newsroom story. There are no allegations of misbehavior, sexual harassment in the newsroom.

Moderator Joel Weisman: I thought there were some complaints of inappropriate language, at least, in the newsroom.

Japsen: There may have been, but it does not affect the editorial process . . .

Weisman: Did you ever see any of the types of things that have given rise to this change? Cmon.

Japsen: Was I witness to boorish behavior? Sure. It was not in the newsroom. Biotech convention was in town. Two gentlemen from Pfizer, we were taking them on a tour of the Tower. We were up on the now infamous balcony on a Tuesday evening about nine o'clock at night, dressed as we are here, in business attire. We walk out on the balcony and there's the boss sitting out there with a half bottle of Dewars gone. He was having a good time. He invited us to have a drink, took us on a tour of the upper reaches of the Tower, setting off fire alarms, calling security guards, "Hey, it's just me." Clearly he was roosting up there at different times.

Laura Washington: Is that as wild as it gets in the Tower? (Panel laughs.)

Japsen: He tossed a cigar butt off the top of the . . .

Washington: The impact on morale, though . . .

Japsen: Nobody wants to see the place you work be maligned, and thousands of people have lost their jobs . . .

Weisman: And you got your statement today. How much is your stock worth?

Japsen: My stock is worth zero. And you know what? I'm a hundred percent vested.

Weisman: You know what? A hundred percent of zero is still zero.


EXCLUSIVE! The Tribune's Exit Strategy.

Quinn Always Does The Right Thing
"I've never served with such an idiotic, racist, sexist, homophobic person in my life," [state Sen. Rickey] Hendon said [of Bill Brady] before introducing Gov. Quinn. "If you think that the minimum wage needs to be three dollars an hour, vote for Bill Brady. If you think that women have no rights whatsoever, except to have his children, vote for Bill Brady. If you think gay and lesbian people need to be locked up and shot in the head, vote for Bill Brady."

Quinn refuses to apologize for standing by silently. Beyond that, someone should ask Quinn if he thinks Hendon is an exemplary public servant whom he's proud to have as an ally.


Maybe Brady's old poker buddy should also be asked if he agrees with Hendon.

That's Mary!
"No need to feel sheepish if, when you heard that Rhymefest is running for Chicago alderman, you said, 'Who?' Or at least there's no need to feel more sheepish than I felt," Mary Schmich writes.

"I hadn't heard of Rhymefest until Thursday, when he appeared at the Tribune's new Chicago Live! show at the Chicago Theatre. A few hours earlier, he'd announced he wanted to be alderman of the 20th Ward.

"Rhymefest's given name is Che Smith. He's 33 and a hip-hop star. A song he co-wrote with his friend Kanye West won a Grammy."

He co-wrote a song with Kanye West that won a Grammy but no need to feel sheepish if you are too old and white to know who he is!

The world is upside down. More appropriate: No need to feel sheepish if you don't know who Barbara Billingsley was.

That's Neil!
"I know every election is touted as the worst ever, but this one, dominated as it is by Tea Party rancor and its fantasies of vanishing the debt without either raising taxes or cutting programs above the level of the National Raisin Board, has to be some new low."


1. New York Times poll of Tea Party supporters:

"Suppose a smaller government required cuts in spending on domestic programs such as Social Security, Medicare, education, or defense - then would you favor smaller government , or not?"

Favor: 73 percent.

2. Yahoo Resolved Question:

"Tea Party Members, what SPECIFIC programs would you cut to make the government smaller and how many jobs would you cut?"

Best Answer chosen by Asker:

"Eliminate the Department of Energy, The Department of Education, The Department of Labor, and the Department of Transportation. Eliminate all farm aide, and then cut the Department of Agriculture by 50%."

3. "'Tea party' activists are exhibiting a fervor for budget cuts not seen in years, pushing to slash everything from Social Security to unemployment benefits in their drive to cut the burgeoning federal debt," Newsmax reports.

That's Sneed!
"Yipes! An inauspicious date? Former Gov. Rod Blagojevich's lawyers may be relieved they were granted a three-month extension of his January trial date, but it sure sounds like a case of bad timing: The new trial date is April 20 - Adolf Hitler's birthday and the date of the Columbine shooting tragedy."

That's the lead item in Sunday's column. Her best stuff. A grown woman. I give up.

The Weekend In Chicago Rock
They appeared at venues near you.

Bartender Journalism
Once again I'll be slinging drinks and singing songs at the venerable Beachwood Inn tonight from 5 p.m. to 2 a.m.; perhaps I'll read from today's featured columnists. Also:

* Old Style: $2.50
* Old Style Light: $2, but I can't recommend it.
* Bottom shelf: $1 off.
* Top shelf: Worth the extra dollar.
* Jukebox: On, loud.
* Poetry: Perhaps.
* Pool: Yes.
* Pinball: Of course.
* Pizza: Free.
* Contribute to tomorrow's Beachwood: Quite possibly!

See you there.


The Beachwood Tip Line: Now with lime.


Posted on October 25, 2010

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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