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The [Monday] Papers

Find out why yuppies are to blame for rising crime and read the latest installment of Answering Amy, in which we take one question posed each week to the Chicago Tribune's highly-paid, highly-marketed, highly-mediocre advice columnist and contrast her answer with ours. In The [Saturday] Papers.

Then get the latest on the Dan Webb debate as well as the latest "Q is for Quagmire" entry, in which we tell you what the Tribune's Q section has on its front page so you don't have to face the horror yourself. In The [Sunday] Papers.

And now . . . The Headlines . . . brought to you by Tim Willette.

1.
Uncle Sam helps ease the pain of investment losses
Uncle Sam helps cause the pain of job losses

2.
Dead man spends days unnoticed on highway
Dead man spends years unnoticed in cemetery

3.
Water signs on Saturn moon raise possibility of
extra-terrestrial life
Air sign at suburban party raises possibility of
extra-marital affair

4.
Army builds miniature New Orleans to study levee
failure
Army builds miniature army to study army failure

5.
GM to recall 900,000 pickups: report
Gene Simmons recalls 900,000 pickups: song

6.
Lawmakers: Wal-Mart threatens US payment system
Lawmakers, Wal-Mart, system threaten humanity, others

7.
Comeback candidates hear Capitol calling
Hypercaffeinated headline huckster hears affected
alliteration

8.
Bush says his beliefs unshaken by poor poll numbers
Bush worried about Arab reaction on port deal
Bush announces bid for United Arab Emirates presidency

9.
Clinton takes quiet approach on Wal-Mart
Shopper takes loud approach in Wal-Mart

10.
Cingular, T-Mobile halt Razr sales due to glitch
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Cingular Wireless and T-Mobile
USA have temporarily stopped selling the Razr,
Motorola Inc.'s flagship cell phone, due to a
technical glitch that causes the phone to drop the
letter "o" from its name, the companies said on
Friday.

11.
Panel's report assigns no blame in levee failures
Government's report assigns no blame in government's
failures

12.
Forbes Billionaires, in Alphabetical Order
Forbes Billionaires, in Order of Ruthlessness

13.
Eliasson wants accord on rights council
"Kyrie Eleison" on jukebox sows bar discord

14.
Abbas says Hamas "too vague" on peace agenda
Hamas clarifies peace agenda by declaring war again


*

1.
USA Today 3/10

2.
Reuters 3/9

3.
AFP 3/10

4.
NPR 3/9

5.
Reuters 3/10

6.
Reuters 3/10

7.
USA Today 3/10

8.
Reuters 3/10
CNN 3/10

9.
USA Today 3/10

10.
Reuters 3/10

11.
NPR 3/10

12.
AP 3/9

13.
AP 3/11

14.
Reuters 3/11



Permalink

Posted on March 13, 2006


MUSIC - The Weekend In Chicago Rock.
TV - Cricket vs. Brexit.
POLITICS - An Odd Call From Bermuda.
SPORTS - All Is Not Forgiven, Bears.

BOOKS - Turning Points Of The Civil War.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Baxter's IV Bag Shortages.


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