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The [Monday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

Here's the note I sent to my minders this morning:

"i'm so sorry, i think i've got the flu, and unfortunately i'm not joking. i've been staving off symptoms for the better part of the week and it hit me full force the last 24 hours. i'm going to go back to sleep and hope i either wake up cured or don't wake up at all. and i had a bunch of story ideas lined up from the weekend. michael scott, whoa! abdon's sun-times story about new trier endorsement was one, death penalty moratorium and gitmo prisoners entering governor's race was one (is jim ryan now the moderate) . . . please use if you want . . . or not . . . ugh, i've used up as many brain cells as are working right now. if i don't make it, i want pink floyd's "wish you were here" played at my funeral . . . i'm sorry."

I did post Jim Coffman's SportsMonday column, however.

And I hope everyone reads Natasha Julius's Weekend Desk Report every week, she truly turns out gem after gem. I'll leave that posted here. Updates on my condition as warranted.

The Weekend Desk Report
Look on the bright side, Bears fans. At least it's safe to watch football this weekend.

Market Update
Illinois' battered economy looks set to receive an unexpected boost as the state is poised to post significant gains in the import market for other people's problems.

Track This
Governor Pat Quinn this week announced a deal to stave off sharp fare increases for Chicago's public transportation system. CTA officials say this means they will no longer be able to upgrade the popular Bus Tracker feature to tell users exactly how fast one their buses is approaching.

Daddy Issues
Injured Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher reportedly wrote a letter on behalf of former Chicago alderman Ed Vrdolyak, describing "Fast Eddie" as a "father figure" to him. Which, when you think about it, makes a lot of sense.

The Oracle of Ravenswood
Lawyers for disgraced former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich this week argued that their client's dwindling trial should be delayed because, although he may have done a ton of illegal shit, he totally knew that it stood a decent chance of being completely un-illegal at some point in the future. Which would mean, naturally, he actually didn't do anything wrong in the first place, right?

The Oracle of the Weekend Desk
Finally this week, industry prognosticators seem certain that The Who will provide this year's Super Bowl halftime entertainment on CBS. Accordingly, the Weekend Desk Setlist Prediction Department has generated the following potential lineup:

1. Who Are You?
2. Won't Get Fooled Again
3. Baba O'Riley


The Beachwood Tip Line: Take a number.


Posted on November 16, 2009

MUSIC - Lyric Opera Strike Settled.
POLITICS - USA Today's Op-Ed Disaster.
SPORTS - SportsMonday: Come On, Vic!

BOOKS - Chicago Book Haul: The Dial.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Chicagoetry: West Town Blues.

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