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The [Monday] Papers

By Steve Rhodes

* Andrew Reilly writes in The White Sox Report:

"It's tempting to use events like Mark Buehrle's perfect game as a foundation for projecting how the rest of the season might go, an especially stupid proposition considering just how much of an aberration the event really is; you might as well say Jim Thome's seven-RBI outings show a team that's finally turned the corner. But what Buehrle's tremendous achievement does give us is a guarantee of some degree of fond remembrance of the 2009 season.

* Marty Gangler writes in The Cub Factor:

"How meaningful is it that the Cubs are in first place in the NL Central? Well, we here at The Cub Factor think it's sort of like being the tallest Fontenot. Or the largest shrimp in the basket. Or the least corrupt politician in Illinois. Oh yeah, we've got a bunch of 'em."

* SportsMonday will appear on Tuesday this week.

Illinois Leadership . . .
. . . continues to distinguish itself. Between our statehouse pols and our state university president, weve got enough to fill a thimble.

Electric Avenue
ComEd is losing customers.

Apologies & Reparations
Slavery's legacy.

Corruption Index
If you have to rely on a bizarre and wide-ranging scheme allegedly involving three mayors, two legislators, rabbis and internal organs to argue that your state isn't the most corrupt in the nation, then it is.

"There's a casual acceptance of corruption in Chicago," Chicago FBI chief Robert Grant tells the Sun-Times. "It's significant here, it has always been significant here. I don't mean just politicians. I mean business people. There's a culture in this state that believes the only way to do business is to delve into the corrupt areas."

That said, New Jersey and Louisiana have always rounded out the top three.


Cubs or Saints?

The Jews Did It
Just like they killed Jesus.

The Baffler Is Back
Is my subscription still good?

Obama's BFF
I'll get to Valerie Jarrett tomorrow.

Arlo Guthrie Is . . .
. . . a registered Republican.

Blago's New Book . . .
. . . is called The Governor.

Here's the ad copy from Phoenix Books:

The Governor, by Rod Blagojevich, pulls the curtain back on the shadowed world of politics and exposes the conspiracies and transgressions that so often compromise the basic tenet of American life: with liberty and justice for all. It is a proclamation that the governor's side of the story must be heard. And that the fight for American liberties and freedom must sometimes occur within its own borders.

Harp Tarp
"When it comes to government wasting your money, the song remains the same, but there's nothing as depressing as the Missing Harpsichord Concerto in the mournful key of eBay."

- John Kass, "Missing Harpsichord Concerto Really A Dirge"

More McCourt
"Mr. McCourt was an idea factory. Maybe he'd create a board game, Squabble, for divorcing couples. Or he'd write a bodice-ripper about Mordecai O'Callaghan, the nonexistent first Jewish Irish pirate on the high seas."

- "A Marriage That Made A Masterpiece Appear"

Reforming Reform
"When did the profit motive become the only reason to do anything?" Bill Maher writes. "When did that become the new patriotism? Ask not what you could do for your country, ask what's in it for Blue Cross/Blue Shield.

"If conservatives get to call universal health care 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private health care 'soulless vampires making money off human pain.' The problem with President Obama's health care plan isn't socialism, it's capitalism."

Is Mark Buehrle . . .
. . . a Hall of Famer?

Flying Dumbo in West Chicago


The Beachwood Tip Line: Elephantine.


Posted on July 27, 2009

MUSIC - Millions Of New Guitar Players.
TV - "One America News" is AT&T.
POLITICS - When Wall Street Came To My Mobile Home Park.
SPORTS - Tonyball, Bears On The Run, Eyes On The Sky & More!

BOOKS - China Holding Swedish Publisher.


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