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The [Monday] Papers

I'll continue to post throughout the site this week, though I likely won't post Papers columns on Thursday and Friday.

Bye Bye Babich
"Lovie didn't deserve to go to the playoffs," our very own Jim Coffman writes. "Neither did his errand boy/defensive coordinator Bob Babich. Together they have presided over the precipitous decline of a great defense during the past couple of years, capped off by yet another lousy performance against a mediocre quarterback during a must-win game. It is a defense that - despite its highly paid status (only the Baltimore Ravens spend a higher percentage of their payroll on the defense) - no longer has anything special on which to hang its hat. Nothing except for the knowledge that harsh conditions in Chicago will almost always help out for at least a game or two late in a given season, that is. And that is pathetic."

Ugly Chicago
Blair Kamin's tackiest building of the year.

Chicago Cookie World Weeps
Pinwheel plant perishes.

[ Just do a search at the link for Maurice Lenell if you want to read this; it's on its third URL and I can't keep up]

Gloom and Doom
The year on the CTA.

Smells Like Tech Spirit
The guitar stylings of local tech whiz Adrian Holovaty.

Pot, condoms, God.

Red Alert
High school students have less than one week to put their creativity to work on entries for a statewide disaster-preparedness contest.

Secretary of Earmarks
Searching the land over for the best possible appointment in an era when the days of appointing your buddies is over. Right?

Emil III
Please go away.

Best Buy Bonnie & Clyde
Illinois couple's scam.

All She Wanted For Christmas Was . . .
. . . a shower.

Holding Tank
"Eric Holder - President-elect Barack Obama's pick to head the Justice Department - has amended his Senate Judiciary Committee confirmation paperwork to include a tie to Gov. Blagojevich," the Sun-Times reports.

The omission, which was made after the governor's arrest, was 'not memorable'," said Obama transition spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter.

Reached for comment, Alberto Gonzales said, "Hey, they're stealing my material!"

Like Saran Wrap
I'm not sure what Lynn Sweet is complaining about; I think the Obama team has been perfectly transparent.

"The question is on the Bush tax cuts for the very wealthiest Americans and it's something that we plainly can't afford moving forward," David Axelrod said this weekend in yet another iteration of tax cut policy. "And whether it expires or whether we repeal it a little bit early we'll determine later, but it's going to go."

Or not. Depending.

Inaugural Ball
"Barack Obama may change Washington when he takes over the White House next month, but when it comes to paying for his inauguration, the president-elect is mostly doing it the old-fashioned way - putting the warm on wealthy supporters and promising VIP treatment on the big day in return," the Tribune reports.

Snow Job
The Sun-Times editorial page on Sunday tells Chicagoans to stop whining about the mayor's failure to salt and plow our roads and instead grab a shovel.

In a certain sense, I suppose, it's a nice sentiment, but we're so turned around in these parts that we no longer know what government is for. Keeping our roads clear and safe is a core responsibility of government - unlike, say, planting flowers and hosting Olympic games and raising revenue by immobilizing cars.

We all already dig ourselves out of our on-street parking spots, and some folks even shovel their own driveways. But it's beyond the capability of residents to salt and plow the miles and miles of streets in our fair city, and it's ludicrous to suggest that they ought to try.

Ebenezer Morrissey
I don't understand what Rick Morrissey has against the Winter Classic hockey game at Wrigley Field. It promises to be one of the coolest things ever. This is what it's all about, Rick.

We Don't Read So Good
Chicago is only the 34th most literate city in America.

I have to say, not only is my hometown of Minneapolis tied with Seattle for No. 1, but sister city St. Paul is No. 4.

Let Them Eat Nails
University of Chicago business school professor John Cochrane thinks the efficiency of the market will take care of our economy.

"People who spend their lives pounding nails in Nevada need something else to do," he says.

Yes. For example, they could pound nails in the heads of University of Chicago professors instead.

Insanity Defense Lives
"If somehow [what I've done] is impeachable, then I'm on the wrong planet," Gov. Blagojevich says.

So true. So when is your return flight?

Blago Blah Blah
"I think there's probably tens of millions of people across America that talk like that from time to time," Blago said.

So true. For example, the other night at the Beachwood I said, "I'm holding the [bleep]in' pool table and I'm not about to [bleep]in' give it up for [bleep]in' nothing, because it's [bleep]in' golden. Now go get me a [bleep]in' beer."

Now Boarding
"Boarding Gate is, in some ways, a pure, reductive B-movie," our very own Roderick Heath writes, "with Argento as its manga-gorgeous muse (Sandra herself had created a sci-fi heroine for a website with whom Miles identifies her), and depending on Argento's ever-ready love of stripping off and stripping down to shift from wilted orchid to Venus Flytrap in a blink. Yet it's also deeply eccentric. Although the plot is more deftly constructed than first glance might suggest, the film never cares particularly about explaining it to us, and the final 20 minutes constantly perverts the expected."


The Beachwood Tip Line: Tonic with a twist.


Posted on December 29, 2008

MUSIC - How Africa Adopted Jimmie Rodgers.
TV - Sinclair, ABC Light AOC On Fire.
POLITICS - SCOTUS's Border Wall Fiasco.
SPORTS - Black Athletes' Underused Trump Card.

BOOKS - The Hidden Places Of World War 2.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Wisconsin Is America's Goatland.

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