The [Monday] Papers
I know it was a long weekend, but I still have a lot of things to tend to this morning, so we'll be back with a full Beachwood tomorrow. We do have new material that was posted over the holiday and, of course, Jim Coffman's SportsMonday, which dissects the Bears' loss to the Vikings last night. Let me just say that, unlike Jim, I cannot defend Lovie Smith's decision to go for it on fourth down. Kick the field goal. It's early and the game's dynamic hasn't shown itself yet.
"I felt we needed a touchdown in that situation," Smith said.
You obviously felt wrong. You didn't need a touchdown in that situation, you just wanted one.
And, obviously, like every Monday morning quarterback - and let's face it, every Sunday night quarterback because we all knew it was wrong in real time - I'm astounded at the play-calling. Opening the first-and-goal series from the one with a play-action pass was a good idea; running into the heart of a defense whose strength is stopping the rush up the middle was just stubborn. Giving the ball to a fullback signed to the active roster the day before the game was just stupid.
The [Thanksgiving Weekend] Papers
We do have a video today, though. I'm in it for the horses freaked out by the parade logo.
CM Punk at Chicago Thanksgiving Day Parade
The [Black Friday] Papers
* God Gave Rock and Roll To You. This is our way of giving thanks.
* Home for the Holidays: The Sequel. Claudia Hunter returns with an update. Go back and read her whole series from last year, it's both frightening and hilarious. We provide the links.
* The Turkey Bowl. Brought to you by our very own Dan O'Shea and his Fantasy Fix column.
* The Lone Daley Dissenter. Is Billy Ocasio showing gumption?
* The Sound Opinions Turkey Shoot. "Jim, Greg and some listeners carve up the year's biggest musical turkeys."
* Watch for Natasha Julius's fabulous Weekend Desk Report on Saturday.
* And now . . . Stephanie B. Goldberg brings you a very special edition of . . .
The Five Dumbest Ideas of the Week
1. This year's in-drink is the Pisco Sour, made with the fabled Peruvian brandy, sugar syrup, Angostura bitters (I always wondered what they were good for) and freshly squeezed lime juice. Stir well and pour over the nearest Bush. Here's looking at you, kid.
2. For Thanksgiving, I served the house specialty - Turkey a La Sarah Palin. It's stuffed with Wingnuts and basted in oil, which was an absolute steal. A big holiday dinner is always a challenge, but I was lucky to have a little help in the kitchen.
3. What's on your Black Friday shopping list? I was thinking of buying Woolworth's, but I don't think I could handle the payroll. Then I thought of picking up Ann Taylor or Chico's as a stocking stuffer, but those two haven't gone the way of Linens 'n Things yet. Still, I wouldn't sit on those gift cards if you know what I mean.
4. How about a little holiday pampering? Lucky magazine had a swell tip for healing chapped lips by massaging them with Visine but darned if they didn't take it off their website. Maybe somebody tipped them off that the vasoconstrictor that's the active ingredient in Visine can be fatal. But you'll leave a good-looking corpse!
5. Speaking of pampering, we girls of a certain age can't wait for the FDA to approve Vavelta, the UK's answer to Restylane. The good news is that it cancels out pockmarks. (Good for you, F. Murray Abraham.) The bad news is that this clear liquid filler is - oh, how do I put this delicately? - cultured from infants' foreskins. Somebody pour me a Pisco Sour.
The Beachwood Tip Line: Give thanks.
Posted on December 1, 2008
© 2006 - 2017, The Beachwood Media Company