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The [Monday] Papers

Emil Jones is expected to announce his retirement today, according to the Tribune.

A) "I've done enough damage here."
B) "I'm wanted back in Hell."
C) Obama-Jones!


Chicago Public Radio reports that "Jones may make a move to have his son succeed him in office."

The faces change, but not the names.

Open and Shut
Beachwood, August 12: Chicago's Opening Ceremonies.

Tribune, August 18: London's Opening Ceremonies.

Memo to Tempo: If you'd like to outsource this sort of thing to us, give me a call. We're cheaper and funnier.

We Beg Of You
Please take the buyout.

Sex Hex
A new study ballyhooed by the Sun-Times despite its obvious methodological failings found that abstinence pledges may "work." Well, except for one demographic slice.

Front page of the New York Times on Sunday: "Seeing Tougher Race, Allies Ask Obama to Make 'Hope' Specific."

"Okay. I hope for change."


On the other hand, the story underneath that about John McCain's response to 9/11 ought to singularly disqualify him from the presidency.


The Beachwood Mystery Debate Theater team takes on The Summit on Saddleback Mountain.

Web Master
Steve Johnson had a nice profile of local journotech Adrian Holovaty in the Trib's Sunday magazine.

Key Holovaty quote:

"I'm just amazed at how much the news industry does because other people are doing it. There's no sense of individuality or entrepreneurship."

For example, if you want to comment on that quote or Twitter it to your friends, just go to the Trib website or its Facebook page! Oh, and don't forget to Digg the article!

Made in China
"Indeed, after the photo shoot for this article, Holovaty e-mailed this good-natured complaint: 'They made me dress up in clothes I would never wear, and they even applied makeup! It was surreal.'"

Hmm, let me dig up that Julia Keller essay about the Age of Fake.


Because people can never be presented as they are, they have to be presented as journalists imagine them to be. You know, the next Lincoln, the Great Communicator, the hipster tech maven.

"Some guy brings a goat to the field, and they won't let him in. Some cat runs across the field. Some guy with headphones sticks his hand out on a ball that's in the stands. Those aren't the reason you don't win. You want to find answers, but that's not why."

Did Ryan Dempster just explain the Cubs or religion?

Book Kook
When I saw the Mary Schmich column about the city's "grooviest" bookstore shutting down, I thought, Oh no, is Myopic going out of business?

No, it's that New Age strip mall shop that exploits people's ignorance and emptiness by selling titles about angels and vibes and magic crystals that substitute for religion for people who like the message better.

Why not just sell Cubs books?


Memo to Schmich: Please take the buyout and transition out of our lives.

The idea that Barack Obama is somehow responsible for the rise in crime in Chicago is almost as absurd as the notion that he's a raving left-wing lunatic with a secret Islamoterrorist agenda that will include nationalizing American industry and seizing control of our radio stations. Obama is responsible for many things - sins of omission far more than sins of commission when it comes to his local record - but the rise in crime is not one of them. In fact, his supporters should be clear that he supports the death penalty, despite everything we've seen in this state. On that score, George Ryan would make a better president.

And yet, the Tribune somehow saw fit to put this story on its front page.

Yelping Beachwood
What hype?

Reverse Obamaboating
If only.

My Hero
"For all its eviscerations of the administration, The Daily Show is animated not by partisanship but by a deep mistrust of all ideology," the New York Times writes. "A sane voice in a noisy red-blue echo chamber, Mr. Stewart displays an impatience with the platitudes of both the right and the left and a disdain for commentators who, as he made clear in a famous 2004 appearance on CNN's Crossfire, parrot party-line talking points and engage in knee-jerk shouting matches. He has characterized Democrats as 'at best Ewoks,' mocked Mr. Obama for acting as though he were posing for 'a coin' and hailed sardonically for '10 years of making even people who agree with you cringe.'

"He's the Jersey Boy and ardent Mets fan as Mr. Common Sense, pointing to the disconnect between reality and what politicians and the news media describe as reality, channeling the audience's id and articulating its bewilderment and indignation. He's the guy willing to say the emperor has no clothes, to wonder why in Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton's 'It's 3 a.m.' ad no one picks up the phone in the White House before six rings, to ask why a preinvasion meeting in March 2003 between President Bush and his allies took all of an hour - the 'time it takes LensCrafters to make you a pair of bifocals' to discuss 'a war that could destroy the global order.'"

Bleacher Preacher
From Jerry Pritikin: In regards to the Tribsters reneging on the 400 parking spaces for the addition of 1,791 Bleacher seats: I wrote letters to the editors of the S/T, Trib and also Alderman Tom Tunney at that time asking that all new bleacher seats have a clause that 1,791 Bleacher seats be sold only on the day of the game to prevent scalping. But that was before we learned that the Cubs had their own ticket brokers who not only resell their own tickets, but have the Chicago Police arresting anyone doing the same. Truth, Justice and the Tribune's way.

The Beachwood Tip Line: Unscalpable.


Posted on August 18, 2008

MUSIC - Holiday Hullabaloo.
POLITICS - Bank Profits Soaring.
SPORTS - Chicago vs. Michigan, 1903.

BOOKS - Dia De Los Muertos Stories.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Chicagoetry: West Town Blues.

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