The [Monday] Papers

The mayor leaves today for eight days in Beijing to take in the Olympics and pick up some management tips from the Chinese government.

We have some excellent ideas for what to do while Daley is away.

Big Daddy Daley
"Daley said he is hoping that the Beijing Olympics will go forward without disruptions from protesters.

"You're there as a spectator," Daley said. "I don't think politics should ever interfere with arts or sports."

In other words, the mayor wishes these people would just shut up and enjoy NBC's coverage of the pole vault.

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Chinese Democracy
"Even Chairman Mao never used bulldozers at midnight to play tic-tac-toe on an airport runway," Chuck Goudie writes.

Family Affairs
Bill Daley has been polling.

Briggs Security
"Briggs declines to say if anyone was in car with him and refuses to identify the person who picked him up at the scene," the Tribune reports. "Asked if alcohol was involved, Briggs carefully collects his thoughts.

"'Instead of people wondering if I was OK or not, the main question was, 'Was he drinking?' Regardless of whether I was drinking or not, I've been in a car and I've sped before. I've done so in the daytime. It's a poor decision no matter what time of day it is."

In other words, Briggs was driving drunk and got away with it by fleeing the scene.

Cubby Bear Heir
Among the local Olympic hopefuls: the daughter of the folks who own the Cubby Bear.

Dance Craze
"I can't dance and I once lived in Connecticut."
- Deborah Douglas of the Sun-Times assessing her qualifications for reparations

CNN: Do you think Bill Clinton was our first black president?

OBAMA: I have to say that, you know, I would have to, you know, investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities.
- January 2008

The conversation about race continues.

Brett Net
"The Green Bay Packers welcomed back quarterback Brett Favre from the reserve-retired list Sunday knowing full well that they've already taken the first step toward trading him to the Vikings," reports say.

"An executive in personnel for an NFL team with close ties to teams in the NFC North Division told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that the Packers called the Vikings on Friday informing them that Favre was available."

Maybe the Bears should offer Brett Favre $20 million not to play.

Royal Rehab
"[M]aybe the 14-3 demolition of the previously first-place Chicago White Sox on Sunday at Kauffman Stadium is another small step on the franchise's path back to relevance," the Kansas City Star writes.

How The Cubs Could Blow It
In The Cub Factor.

Anthrax Journalism
Trib editorial: "The federal government owes Hatfill more than $1.8 million. It owes him an apology."

Yes. Right after the media apologizes.

J-Fed's Feathered Bed
"When Weis was hired last November to clean up the Police Department, Daley justified his top salary by saying the former FBI agent would be wearing two hats: those of top cop and chief emergency officer," the Sun-Times reports in a survey of government salaries.

"But in July Weis' authority to supervise response to disasters was diluted when Fire Commissioner Raymond Orozco was named to head the Office of Emergency Management and Communications. Daley said Orozco, not Weis, will be calling the shots at disaster scenes."

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By the way, note how the dubious assumption that Weis was hired to "clean up" the department worms its way into news stories and is stated as fact.

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Orozco, by the way, saw his salary go up by $4,000 after he was named the emergency guru. Weis's salary - an astonishing $309,996 - remained the same.

Salary Survey
* The mayor of Chicago makes $216,210 a year; the governor of Illinois makes $166,000.

* Daley press secretary Jacquelyn Heard makes $172,056 a year in taxpayer money for lying to us.

* The Cook County State's Attorney makes $185,731 - more than the governor.

Fight the Parking Powers
The Expired Meter.

Holding Pattern
Trib: "The Other Airports: Consider Putting Rockford, Milwaukee On Your Radar." I haven't had time to stop considering since the last time you wrote this story.

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Another newspaper favorite: They just love etiquette lessons.

Now, if they can just construct a story about proper airplane travel etiquette reported from Milwaukee or Rockford that wistfully recalls the era when people wore suits on planes.

Beachwood Bonus
* The Weekend Desk Report by Natasha Julius. You can also listen to Natasha's appearance on Eight Forty-Eight's Month in Review panel last Friday.

* In case you missed the late posting, The [Friday] Papers is pretty good.

The Beachwood Tip Line: Tripped out.