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The [Monday] Papers

The Rev. Michael Pfleger blamed YouTube on Sunday for his mockery of Hillary Clinton, saying he thought he was speaking "in the sacredness of a sanctuary."

A) Pfleger's been out of town for a few months.

B) "Sacred sanctuary" meaning the place you don't expect to be caught.

C) "I knew God was watching, but I didn't think everyone else was."


In fact, Pfleger titled his sermon "Beyond YouTube."

What, did he make an ass of himself on Facebook too?


"It is also grieving to me when a 1.5-minute YouTube video becomes the headlines across the world of papers and news stations, while the tragedy and death of earthquakes, cyclones and tornadoes that have taken the lives of people around this world, while the killing of our children across this country and here in Chicago and the easy access to guns have become stories on page 18 and 19, and while people are at my front door, looking for food to eat or gas to get to work," Pfleger said.

A) All that trouble in the world and we're distracted by who the next president will be.

B) Pfleger must be referring to RedEye because earthquakes and slain children are front-page news in the local papers I read.

C) I don't know about page 18 and 19, but page 20 of the Sun-Times is about how Obama's latest landslide loss, in the Puerto Rico primary, puts him that much closer to the nomination.


"I have some good news that will not be printed in the paper," said Rev. Otis Moss III, the successor to Jeremiah Wright. "I have some good news that will not be on TV. I have some good news that will be passed down from generation to generation . . . It's the news of a man by the name of Jesus . . . It changes all of the other news."

A) Well, Jesus is really just a rumor. I'm not sure we have the sourcing to publish.

B) Actually, the news about Jesus is in the papers and on TV every damn day. Enough with the hype.

C) Sneed hears that Jesus dined with some associates the other day but now one of them is a don't invite-em item.

D) Stella writes that Jesus thinks it's cool to read the Sun-Times!

E) Steinberg writes that Jesus isn't nearly as smart as he is.

F) Kass writes that Jesus always gives the spoils to his disciples.


"Some in Obama's camp apparently were surprised that live broadcasts from Trinity are still streamed on the Internet."

Yes. By Trinity itself. They even have a countdown to the next Webcast.


Barack Obama officially disowned Trinity Church on Saturday but remains associated with a far more sinister organization with a long record of divisive misdeeds and criminal behavior that is likely to become an issue in the general election . . .

Big Bad Jim
Thompson argues (lamely) in favor of clemency for George Ryan on the Sun-Times's Op-Ed page today. My favorite parts:

* "If the loss of public office, reputation, pension, Social Security and freedom is not enough to deter others, the continued incarceration of Gov. Ryan seems unlikely to do it."

How about sharing a cell with Rod Blagojevich? Is that scary enough?

* "Let's be clear: Gov. Ryan did not argue in either the Court of Appeals or the Supreme Court that his guilt was not proved. He argued (and we still believe) that his guilt was not proved in a trial that was fair."

Um, I thought we were going to be clear.

So, in other words, you're saying that, yes, Ryan is guilty, but he really ought to be convicted in a fairer trial?

Pardon Me
Jim Thompson, meet Dean Cage.

I Believe I Can Sing
Best moment in the R. Kelly trial so far:

"Also Friday, a criminal-defense attorney was thrown out of the Criminal Courts Building after attempting to foist his own music CD on Kelly.

"Attorney Mike Roman, who fronts the local Latin rock band Mike Roman & the Tellstars, approached Kelly while he was sitting alone at the defense table. With his lawyers and prosecutors meeting privately in the judge's chambers, the Grammy winner was left to fend off the man's overture.

"'No, thank you,' Kelly said with a polite smile. 'I'm not allowed to take anything.'

"Roman persisted, but Kelly repeatedly refused to accept the Cha Cha Time CD.

"Other attorneys in the courtroom noticed the conversation and called deputies to assist Kelly. Roman was briefly detained.

"'I'm a lawyer and I'm a musician,' Roman told authorities. 'What's wrong with that?'

"Roman cooperated with his removal - but not before trying to sell a Cha Cha Time CD to one of Kelly's defense attorneys for $15."

Dairy Queen King
"In Homewood, one of the first signs of spring wasn't a robin or a crocus, it was Art Welsh opening his Dairy Queen at Ridge and Gladville for the season.

"'It is boarded up over the winter,' said his daughter, Judy Welsh. 'Ten days before he decided to open, he would put up big numbers outside - 10-9-8 - a countdown. And when the Dairy Queen opens up, he would give out free ones to everybody. Vanilla only - he never had chocolate.'

"The Dairy Queen is a Homewood institution. And so was Mr. Welsh, who took over the stand in 1968 and used it as the focus of his generosity, which extended into community affairs, veterans causes and youth athletics and academics.

"The street corner in front of the store is named for Mr. Welsh and his late wife. There's also a baseball field in town with his name.

"Mr. Welsh, 91, died Monday at his home in Homewood."

I didn't know Art Welsh or his Dairy Queen, but I would have liked to.

The Beachwood Tip Line: Streaming live.


Posted on June 2, 2008

MUSIC - Holiday Hullabaloo.
POLITICS - Bank Profits Soaring.
SPORTS - Chicago vs. Michigan, 1903.

BOOKS - Dia De Los Muertos Stories.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Chicagoetry: West Town Blues.

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