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The [Friday] Papers

1. Chicago Police Chief Can't Be Bothered To Give Monthly Report At Police Board Meeting.

Wow, get it together, Eddie.

Then again, you won't be in that job much longer.

2. Pot Parking.

"If you park your car on the lower level of the Millennium Lakeside Garage under Maggie Daley Park, you might feel like you've just pulled into a subterranean car dealership," Crain's reports.

"Rows of new and used Volkswagens and Hondas - nearly 400 in total - fill a lot of the space. You might spot a worker painting a Jetta with a spray gun. The level above has a more nautical feel, with dozens of empty boat trailers.

"Yet the garage still isn't close to full, a problem for the international joint venture that paid $370 million in 2016 to lease it and three other city-owned garages under Millennium and Grant parks. With 9,176 spaces, the garages constitute the largest underground parking system in the country. At 3.8 million square feet, it's almost as big as Willis Tower.

"It's actually too big, which is why Rick West, the executive who runs the garages, is exploring creative ways to fill excess space in Lakeside, the easternmost and largest garage, with 3,850 spaces. He'd like to convert part of it into warehouse space, even hiring a brokerage to market the property to logistics firms. But he hasn't landed any tenants yet."


Hey, here's an idea: Pot shops. Downtown, but not visible to all those friendly families who would be scandalized by bumping into them on their vacations.


"Do they need all those spaces? No," John Hammerschlag, president of Chicago-based Hammerschlag & Co., which owns several downtown garages, told Crain's. "Will they ever need all those spaces? I doubt it."

3. Disrespecting 90.

The Cubs' vaunted culture has broken down badly this season. For one thing, they sure don't Respect 90 anymore. This kind of thing has happened all too often this season, costing the team bases and quite likely wins.

Related: The team's league-worst baserunning, as discussed on this week's Beachwood Radio Sports Hour.


Who will get fired first this fall, Joe Maddon or Eddie Johnson?

4. Kamala Listing.

"Democratic presidential hopeful Kamala Harris may be slipping in the polls nationally, but today she rolled out a fairly impressive list of supporters here in Illinois," Greg Hinz writes for Crain's.

"Fairly" is being fairly generous.

"Heading the list of members of Harris' Leadership Council are congressmen Bobby Rush and Danny Davis, both Chicago Democrats and, like Harris, African American. Also included are City Clerk Anna Valencia, state Sens. Mattie Hunter and Ram Villivalam, state Reps. Bob Morgan and Deb Conroy, and Highland Park Mayor Nancy Rotering."

Another way to frame this story would be to write that Kamala Harris rolled out a fairly weak list of supporters here in Illinois, mirroring her national struggles to compete with frontrunners Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders. Harris, in fact, has decided to go all-in on Iowa as a bit of a Hail Mary that we've seen in the past and rarely, if ever, works.


Releasing a list isn't necessarily news, and it's not necessarily good news just because a campaign tells you it is.

To wit:

Rush endorsed Harris in July.

As did Davis.

So what are you really left with? Highland Park mayor Nancy Rotering?


Lynn Sweet at the Sun-Times also falls for it (and plays it like a scoop): Kamala Harris Unveils Illinois Leadership Team: Snares Big Names In Diverse Group.

Sweet then dishes up four paragraphs from a press release and supporters' statements.


Just because a candidate issues a press release about a state "leadership team" doesn't mean you have to republish it! It would be much more interesting to find out why these folks support Harris, how her list compares to those we can expect from other campaigns, and what Harris's prospects look like in the state. Take the press release and report it the fuck out! Who are her major funders here? Who might go her way but is still on the fence? Or, you know, just file it away and use it later if it becomes relevant to anything newsworthy.

5. Illinois' Children Of Donor H898.

"Danielle Rizzo's son is screaming. He is planted in the middle of the lobby of his elementary school, clinging to rainbow-colored blocks as she gently explains that she is here - off schedule, in the middle of the day - to take him to a doctor's appointment. But the first-grader is not listening," the Washington Post reports.

"Happy Meal," he repeats over and over again. "Happy Meal!"

His little brother, who is also going to the appointment, is nearby, not moving. Rizzo is relieved that the two of them are not melting down at the same time, which happens all too often, and firmly guides them out the door.

Rizzo's children, ages 7 and 6, were at the center of one of the most ethically complex legal cases in the modern-day fertility industry. Three years ago, while researching treatment options for her sons, Rizzo says she made an extraordinary discovery: The boys are part of an autism cluster involving at least a dozen children scattered across the United States, Canada and Europe, all conceived with sperm from the same donor. Many of the children have secondary diagnoses of ADHD, dyslexia, mood disorders, epilepsy and other developmental and learning disabilities.

The phenomenon is believed to be unprecedented and has attracted the attention of some of the world's foremost experts in the genetics of autism, who have been gathering blood and spit samples from the families.

The Rizzo family in lives in Bartlett, fyi.

Rizzo turned to a sperm bank when she was 27 years old and a business banker at a JPMorgan Chase branch. She and her partner, who asked that her name not be used to protect her privacy, had been together for eight years. They met while Rizzo was attending community college on a softball scholarship. Rizzo was the team's pitcher; her partner was an assistant coach. In June 2011, when Illinois began issuing civil union licenses to same-sex couples, they were the first in line at the Kane County courthouse.

Rizzo says they were eager to start their family and decided that Rizzo, younger by two years, would carry the baby. For months, the couple scoured online profiles to find just the right sperm donor.

Donor H898 from Idant Laboratories looked like a winner.

He was blond and blue-eyed, 6-foot-1, 240 pounds, and appeared to be smart and accomplished. His profile said he had a master's degree and was working as a medical photographer. His hobbies included long-distance running, reading and art.

And most important, Rizzo says, he had a clean bill of health, according to his profile - having scribbled "NA" and a strikethrough line on all but one of the more than 100 medical questions, including mental health ones, posed by sperm banks. (His paternal grandfather had had prostate cancer at age 85.)

Over the next few months, Rizzo purchased several vials of sperm. The bill came to about $500.

You'll have to click through for the rest.


New on the Beachwood today . . .

The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #270: Mitch Impossible
The autumn of our (unexpected) discontent. Including: Mitch Falsbisky; Only Person In Chicago More Unpopular Than Mitch Trubisky Is Craig Kimbrel; Cubs Lab; The Undertaker; These Cards Will Run!; The Amazin' A's & Yankees; The White Sox Are Still Playing; Chicago Joe Fire; The Sky Is Crying; and The Red Stars Try To Lock Down A Playoff Spot This Weekend.



What are some ways to get involved and help the environment while living in Chicago? from r/chicago





Serengeti - "Dennehy Bulls" (Official Music Video).

"A new take on a true Chicago cult classic from Serengeti. W/special guest Jenny Lewis."

Keep the juices in the brats, keep the juices in the chops, serve it on paper plates with potato salad and orange pop.



The University of Texas's Secret Strategy To Keep Out Black Students.


Museums Claim They're Paying More Attention To Female Artists. That's An Illusion.


A sampling of the delight and disgust you can find @BeachwoodReport.






The Beachwood Tip Top Tap Line: Draughty.


Posted on September 20, 2019

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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