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The [Friday] Papers

"The former president of a fraternity at Northwestern University is accused of stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from the association's account," the Sun-Times reports.

If you're like me, the image of the suspected perp that just popped into your mind is something like this:


And maybe he did look like that at one time.

But the dude in question is old enough to be that dude's grandfather - unless that's a typo there:

"Peter Schellenbach, 77, was charged with a class 1 felony count of theft for allegedly stealing $460,000 from the Sigma Chi Home Association while he was its president from 2006 to 2012, the office of Illinois Attorney General Kwame Raoul said in a statement."

He's been one credit short from graduation for five decades! I smell movie script.

Or maybe he was a returning student. I hate to picture the initiation ritual. I still smell movie script.

"Schellenbach, of north suburban Glencoe, pleaded not guilty at an arraignment in Cook County Circuit Court, the attorney general's office said. The charge is punishable by up to 15 years in prison."

He can finish his degree in the joint. Meanwhile, Sigma Chi Stateville!

"Schellenbach allegedly transferred the fraternity's money to his personal account, the attorney general's office said. He allegedly used more than $267,000 to fund an Iraqi investment account with Sterling Currency Group, whose owners were convicted of fraud in federal court in 2018."

Now I really smell a movie script.

"He also used Sigma Chi's money for personal expenses, including online trading websites, credit cards and the Chicago Yacht Club, the attorney general's office said. When board members asked Schellenbach about the missing money, he allegedly said the withdrawals - some as large as $70,000 - were loans he would repay."

That's what they always say.


Wanna work on the script with me? HMU.


Working titles: Old Man Sigma, The Last Frat Boy, Sigma 77, Ocean's 77, Old Man and the Chi.


Starring Walter Matthau. Except he's dead. I know I want Jonah Hill involved. (Shouldn't he play Flounder in an Animal House remake?)

Gene Hackman is retired, but maybe with Quentin Tarantino directing, he could be lured into the role in a career-making comedic turn.


I'll have some stuff on the real news of the week - the new mayor, the city council, gaming, pot, etc. - later or in the next few days. A lot I couldn't get to this week.



Permanent Dibs.... from r/chicago





Lamp Artist Paul Snagel.



Lee Bey:

"A thing I've done for more than a year (and should talk about more): Every month, I give a slide lecture to CPD recruits on the history of Chicago neighborhoods, particularly those that are black and brown. With maps, photos and numbers, the presentation shows how the so-called ghetto was made by through policies, practices, policing and laws created by the city's establishment. And if equitable and just policing is possible at all, it begins when police are not another tool of oppression and containment . . . "


Also from Lee:

"I finally stopped by Mayor Lightfoot's office lobby today to see the installation of my 12 images of South Side architecture. It looks great! A big thanks to the mayor and her team for this opportunity. The space also includes a map by artist Amanda Williams that depicts the insidious practice of redlining . . . "



Meatless Fast Food Burgers Probably Aren't Any Healthier - And They're Definitely More Expensive.


Bellingcat And How Open Source Reinvented Investigative Journalism.


Something That Wasn't There: Daddy Lacan.


How To Run A Caliphate.


How U.S. 'Good Guys' Wiped Out An Afghan Family.


A sampling.






The Beachwood McRibTipLine: Dummy up.


Posted on June 14, 2019

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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